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lil_em

Sunny South Coast

Member Since 2007

Followers 132 Following 112

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Sunday Nov 09, 2008

Nov 9, 2008
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Sorry about my outburst earlier friends, I just sometimes wonder how and why I am so conscientious when I've been raised by a pair of selfish twats.

He's now fucked off abroad to drink himself to death and she is the most selfish person I have ever known.

We had a major falling out this morning over something that started off absolutely nothing to do with me. It ended with me saying FUCK YOU then putting the phone down on her.

I'm not gonna go into why because I've said it all before on here, but I guess I've just never gotten over the things she said to me when I was in hospital being told I was losing my baby. Like I said, I'm not going to go there again but it's fair to say I have cried a lot today. She's since sent me this email:

Emma.
I really don't want all this bad feeling. I have spoken to Kelly and apologised to her, and we have sorted things out.
I have not and will not tell Nanny what has happened, but I don't appreciate being threatened with 'there will be trouble'.
As far as you and the baby are concerned, as I said before I was there for you while you were going throught the miscarriage. If I said any thing inappropriate to you, then I apologise.
You have to realise, Emma, that not everybody is like you. I was dealing with a situation I hadn't dealt with before and didn't know how to cope with it. And I told you that I was always there for you if you needed me and I still am.
I haven't deliberately not spoken to you about it, but I don't know what to say. I thought that if you wanted to speak about it, you would, so decided not to bring the subject up for fear of upsetting you. I am sorry if this was the wrong way to go about things, but it was the only way I knew how.
I don't only think about myself by any means, but we all have different personalities and yours is a lot more outgoing than mine. I tend to keep all my problems and what I am thinking to myself. Always have done and probably always will do. I wish I wasn't like it but there it is.
Please let us get back on track, I don't want the family split apart like this. We all have problems, and as Kelly has just said, emotions are running high at the moment, and I realise that it is coming up to a very difficult time of the year for you, and we should all be pulling together, not in different directions.
I hope that you can understand where I am coming from.
Love from Mum.

That's quite a sweet email from her. It makes a change to read something so nice from her. The fact of the matter is her youngest son is flying out to Iraq this coming Friday, her youngest daughter is moving into her own place this Tuesday, her oldest son has fuck all to do with her, her middle daughter told her where to get off this morning and so did I. For the first time in her life she's going to be alone again.

And yes, I do feel guilty for all of this. I know it's not my fault but she's used emotional blackmail on us our entire lives and even Kelly was back to sticking up for her this afternoon. And so now I'm left feeling really sorry for her again. It's a fucking nightmare and I really wish I wasn't here right now. I'd rather be anywhere rather than here.

I'm also now suffering from a full-on cold and can only breathe through my mouth. My nose is completely blocked and I can't stop sneezing and spreading my lovely germs everywhere. Now I really fucking need a holiday frown

Oh, and if you've got a minute, please go and wish my lovely friends khoos and mydogfarted the best of luck with the birth of their baby girl. It sounds like she's finally ready to make her big entrance into the world!! biggrin

Much love to you all, I hope you all have a much better start to the week than I have.

kiss kiss

xx
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
billytheseal:
if i ever drank bells, i don't think i would ever drink whiskey again lol. you take care of yourself angel. x
Nov 9, 2008
beestealer:
Aww... get better soon chuck!

Sounds like yer mom has loads on, poor women, how many children? They do some silly things sometimes and don't even know it harms you! Be thankful that she ain't diagnosed, mine uses that excuse all the time... tut. x
Nov 10, 2008

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