lil_em

Just a quickie because I really need to get in the bath and shave bits etc. for tomorrow. Donna would never accept anything less than perfect when it comes to presentation

So, yeah. Me and Sarah went to see Donna's body yesterday. It was the most shocking thing I think I've ever experienced in my entire life. I had the wind knocked right out of me the second I walked into the room. But gradually, and slowly, I took it all in and realised that actually Donna's naughty, mischievous personality was already gone and what was actually in the coffin was merely her shell. Donna's mum was kind enough to leave me and Sars alone with Donna for a few minutes so we both got to say our piece to her and say goodbye, in private. I have complete closure and a much better understanding of death now.

I've not had much direct dealings with death before and this experience has helped me in a lot of ways. I will think and ponder on this experience for weeks, months and probably years to come.

I'm really glad that I did it and I now feel closure with regards to losing Donna. Yes, it's very upsetting but I know now that she's gone, I've seen it for myself and there's none of this feeling like I can't believe it anymore.

Tomorrow is her funeral and I have to admit I'm actually looking forward to it - is that wrong?

I've set up an event on Facebook and I'm hoping that we can get as many of our old school friends together as possible. We're all up for going for a drink afterwards and as Donna worked in the Hilton, I've got a feeling that they're going to put on a very good spread for Donna, although I might be wrong, we shall see.

So yeah, bizarrely enough, losing Donna has had the most amazingly positive impact on my life and I will thank her for that every day for the rest of my days. Thanks chick.

And because Donna was Betty Boop, I've gone and bought new pink undies, a new pink top to go under my suit, and I will make sure my hair and makeup are absolutely bloody perfect, just how Donna would have been. I remember we used to laugh at her when we were kids that she had this little bag that had her eye-liner and lippy in it; she had it with her 24/7 and we used to call it her life support machine!! Hehe

We're all going to bring more old photos tomorrow so hopefully I'll be able to share more in the coming days/weeks. In the meantime, Sars gave me this picture yesterday, it's obviously from the same day as the photo I posted before but in this one you can see my hair properly, what the bloody hell did I look like?!



I'll let you know how the funeral goes later on in the week but please, say a prayer for Donna's mum; she's not only lost her daughter this year but she's also lost her husband, her mum and dad and her little doggie. That's just not fair

xx