likeopium

well anyways. i've been having thoughts about tyler. i love him and all and i couldnt picture a long lasting relationship with any other human being other than him but i feel like we're growing distant, he isnt as happy as he used to be, he isnt the guy i fell in love with, and now in his depression he is clinging to me and getting all paranoid that i am gonna leave him and its annoying me so much that it almost makes me want to, but then i'll be alone again. theres other guys, more attractive guys that i can be with, other more attractive females aswell, but i doubt i would ever possible be able to mentally click with anyone ever the way i do with him. god damn it. and the temptation is killing me, tristan is a very hot guy who is extremely smart and opinionated the way i like my men but in too many ways he is a little boy with little to no experience in the real world. which i like guys that know what they are doing and have their shit together who are also mature. then theres a series of females that a drop dead georgeous that i could so easily have and then there is blake who i almost went out with and saturday night he was being all close and flirty and wanted me to call him. GOD WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!? i mean i gotta call him anyways to get my things back from his dorm from when we were almost together. oh so hopeless, i guess i'll ride out with tyler until i am absolutly sure that there is no other possible solution than to break up with him. besides whatever it is he is going through with his crazy emotional anxiety atacks he probably needs me there to help him through... hey you never know what the end results may be.
p.s. i feel sick