Warning: poor me entry ahead.
I think Im falling down the rabbit hole.
Ive been in a downward spiral since getting laid off back in June. My original plan was to take a month off and relax before getting another job. I had been spending so much time at work that I had let other areas of my life fall into dormancy.
My plan was to write. The thing that used to be my passion had suffered under 60 hour workweeks. My problem now is that I cant find the words. I hear them in my head but I just cant get them out.
Now, in that rare time when the words flow freely from thought to screen, all that comes out is sorrow and self-doubt. Im sinking into a deep depression. I feel it every day when I wake. I stay up till 4 a.m. so Ill sleep most of the day away.
The only jobs that seem interested in wanting to hire me are the ones that dont pay enough. I cant take a job that pays less than my unemployment. The only bright spot is the fact that my unemployment runs through the end of December, so I can afford to pass on the 7 dollars an hour jobs for right now. That is my blessing and my curse. No job means no interaction with other people. I sit in my apartment and play video games with my roommate who is in the same boat as I am.
I know I need to change. I need to get a reason to get up in the morning, because right now I dont have one. Im not happy and Im lonely. Im waiting for the day my car finally dies, not that I drive it much anymore with these gas prices.
Most of the time Im so frustrated I just want to scream. Im going to be 35 in December; Im not a kid anymore. I still feel like Im in my early 20s. The cherry on top of all of this is that my anti-social tendencies have really taken hold again.
Aside from posting in my thread in SGKalamazoo, I dont post much on SG lately. Which is why Im guessing that I got booted from SGDetroit.
Im having a hard time seeing the bright spots of life right not, all I see are the shadows. I just dont see a reason to subject the people on my friends list to the blackness that surrounds me right now.
LastBadger wrote in his testimonial of me that, He'll be great on the day that he believes it.
I know that hes right. In those rare time with Ive had an abundance of self-confidence Im unstoppable.
I cant help but wonder when that day will come around again.
I think Im falling down the rabbit hole.
Ive been in a downward spiral since getting laid off back in June. My original plan was to take a month off and relax before getting another job. I had been spending so much time at work that I had let other areas of my life fall into dormancy.
My plan was to write. The thing that used to be my passion had suffered under 60 hour workweeks. My problem now is that I cant find the words. I hear them in my head but I just cant get them out.
Now, in that rare time when the words flow freely from thought to screen, all that comes out is sorrow and self-doubt. Im sinking into a deep depression. I feel it every day when I wake. I stay up till 4 a.m. so Ill sleep most of the day away.
The only jobs that seem interested in wanting to hire me are the ones that dont pay enough. I cant take a job that pays less than my unemployment. The only bright spot is the fact that my unemployment runs through the end of December, so I can afford to pass on the 7 dollars an hour jobs for right now. That is my blessing and my curse. No job means no interaction with other people. I sit in my apartment and play video games with my roommate who is in the same boat as I am.
I know I need to change. I need to get a reason to get up in the morning, because right now I dont have one. Im not happy and Im lonely. Im waiting for the day my car finally dies, not that I drive it much anymore with these gas prices.
Most of the time Im so frustrated I just want to scream. Im going to be 35 in December; Im not a kid anymore. I still feel like Im in my early 20s. The cherry on top of all of this is that my anti-social tendencies have really taken hold again.
Aside from posting in my thread in SGKalamazoo, I dont post much on SG lately. Which is why Im guessing that I got booted from SGDetroit.
Im having a hard time seeing the bright spots of life right not, all I see are the shadows. I just dont see a reason to subject the people on my friends list to the blackness that surrounds me right now.
LastBadger wrote in his testimonial of me that, He'll be great on the day that he believes it.
I know that hes right. In those rare time with Ive had an abundance of self-confidence Im unstoppable.
I cant help but wonder when that day will come around again.
Just keep searching and you will the perfect job...
Just keep searching and you will find the inspiration...
Just keep searching and you will find what you have been looking for...
Just keep searching... never stop
it sad but it is true my brother, if you wanna get paid you gotta do something that gets you paid and the highest paid jobs are sales, sports and entertainment. Well I am no athlete and I can't sing dance or act, so sales it is and I have never looked back, I mean fuck I get paid to talk to people and about shit I care about, god I love what I do.
So stop ya fucking whinging my friend and get of ya arse and make it happen cuz no one owes you a living, but there are shit loads of people who are will to give you one if you just ask, see you must sell your self first and that can't be all that hard, I mean shit mate you got me sold and I have never even met you.
do you know that the number one reason that people don't buy a product is because they were never asked, the principle is a biblical one my brother and fellow reverend, ask and ye shall receive, the trick is to keep on asking
kids are the best salespeople simply because of persistence, so mate start believing in yourself first as a product because if you won't buy you then it makes it hard for anyone else too, I am not saying that no one will buy you if you won't, cuz your true friends have, it just makes it a lot harder.
remember my friend that your are valuable it is up to you how much, so set a price believe it and sell it
So stop this woe is me shit or I am gunna come over there and burn ya fuckin rabbit hole and give ya a smack, then we will go out and have a few beers and chat about stuff hehe, my shout since you temporarily have no cash.......
[Edited on Sep 20, 2005 12:15AM]