lightbulbjack

I just knocked this out. Its not edited or anything yet, but I felt like putting it up.

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What do you know about love?"

Her words dripped like poison from a dagger. Never before had I seen she so vicious. Shes lay in bed and displayed herself. Im sure she will claim that it was for my benefit, but make no mistake; the show was her and her alone.

Do you like my pussy, Jack? I know you like it when I touch it like this.

How had we fallen so far out of love with each other? I look at her now, naked, laided out before me and I feel no love.

Whats wrong baby, cant you get it up one last time? One last fuck for the road.

Im no angel, far from it.

Come on Jackie, she said raising her fingers to her lips. Dont you want one last taste?

I hated her. We were nothing to each other anymore. Maybe she was right all along. Maybe we never really did love each other. Did the sum of our relationship boil down to the temporary peace we found while fucking? Were we really so lost that our only way to cope was to cling to someone as screwed up as we were?

I have no answers, only more questions. Even now amongst all that has transpired between us I look at her in that bed and I want her. I can feel my cock getting hard. I want to kill her for the blind rage she brings out in me. As I watch her touch herself and know that she is doing it to prove she still has a hold over me, I want her.

I want to feel the warmth of her body pressed against mine. I want her to take me in her mouth and torture me with her bubblegum velvet tongue. I want to make her cry out in pleasure. I want to pin her to the bed and fuck her hard and leave her wanting more. I want to leave her as empty as I feel.

I want

I want

I want

I want every inch of her body, from the tiny silky hairs on the back of her neck to the birthmark on her left ass cheek. Her body was my world, every freckle; scar and hair were my conquest. The though of letting her go is frightening. Its like the first day when you have to let go of your security blanket. Theres no mystery left, it comforts you because it has become an extension of yourself. You don't really need it but you don't know that yet.

Come back to bed. I dont want to fight anymore.

At this moment I hate myself. I could get back in bed and fuck her, return to the familiar, the security of her embrace. It wouldnt solve anything. Things will be good for a few days, maybe a week. It will end. She will dump me the first chance she get just to prove that she can end it when I couldn't.

You know I hate it when you call me Jackie.

Im sorry baby, please come back to bed. I dont want to be alone.

She worried that Ill be the first to walk away from the train wreck that we mockingly call a relationship. Ill leave and shell be all-alone again, my broken China doll.

I know that tone in her voice. Its the voice of the girl who wakes up crying in the middle of night, but wont say why.

The toughest part of having a white knight complex is accepting that not everyone can or wants to be saved. And that sometime its me, Im the one who needs to be saved.

Goodbye Angel.