I have another conference call Friday morning at 8 a.m. to go over the closings.
This is a long journal entry. Its also very serious. Consider yourself warned.
Dealing with that asshole yesterday has really got me worked up. Ive known several women who were raped. Combine that with my father beating my mother and you have foundation for my strong feelings about abuse.
When I was in my late teens I had a friend that fell in love with. To her I was her friend. She told me she didnt want to ruin our friendship by dating. It hurt, I wont lie. I watched her go out with asshole after asshole. She was drawn to men who treated her bad and it killed me.
We had known each other for almost a year before she told me that she had been raped.
She told me one night that the guy she had been seeing had started to hit her. About a week later I was at a party when I ran into him. I told him I knew what he was doing. We got in a fight. He put a good beating on me but got in some good shots. I told him Id kill him if he ever hit her again. They stopped seeing each other not too long after that night.
I had so much hate in me that night.
Things were never the same between her and I after that night. She used to tell me that I had poets eyes, kind and searching eyes. She said that my eyes grew dark after that night. I didnt get it then what she meant.
Later in the summer she and her mom moved to Tennessee. Before she left, she told me that I frightened her that night. She told me that only I could choose the way I live. I could be a hurter or a healer.
When I was growing up I was afraid that I would grow up to be like me father. My parents got divorced when I was 6. I never knew my father, but I knew of his reputation.
Ive learned to channel my anger. It takes a lot to for me to lose my temper. When I do, it scares me. Sometimes it feels like I have this blackness of my father within me.
Ive made peace with my past as best I can. I try to be a good man. I try to be a man that my mom would have been proud of.
In the past Ive not posted some things here because they were too personal. Maybe this is one of those times when I should just delete this and go to bed.
Writing this has helped me dissipate the anger Ive been feeling.
This is me at my most bare. Im just a flawed person battling with my demons.
This is a long journal entry. Its also very serious. Consider yourself warned.
Dealing with that asshole yesterday has really got me worked up. Ive known several women who were raped. Combine that with my father beating my mother and you have foundation for my strong feelings about abuse.
When I was in my late teens I had a friend that fell in love with. To her I was her friend. She told me she didnt want to ruin our friendship by dating. It hurt, I wont lie. I watched her go out with asshole after asshole. She was drawn to men who treated her bad and it killed me.
We had known each other for almost a year before she told me that she had been raped.
She told me one night that the guy she had been seeing had started to hit her. About a week later I was at a party when I ran into him. I told him I knew what he was doing. We got in a fight. He put a good beating on me but got in some good shots. I told him Id kill him if he ever hit her again. They stopped seeing each other not too long after that night.
I had so much hate in me that night.
Things were never the same between her and I after that night. She used to tell me that I had poets eyes, kind and searching eyes. She said that my eyes grew dark after that night. I didnt get it then what she meant.
Later in the summer she and her mom moved to Tennessee. Before she left, she told me that I frightened her that night. She told me that only I could choose the way I live. I could be a hurter or a healer.
When I was growing up I was afraid that I would grow up to be like me father. My parents got divorced when I was 6. I never knew my father, but I knew of his reputation.
Ive learned to channel my anger. It takes a lot to for me to lose my temper. When I do, it scares me. Sometimes it feels like I have this blackness of my father within me.
Ive made peace with my past as best I can. I try to be a good man. I try to be a man that my mom would have been proud of.
In the past Ive not posted some things here because they were too personal. Maybe this is one of those times when I should just delete this and go to bed.
Writing this has helped me dissipate the anger Ive been feeling.
This is me at my most bare. Im just a flawed person battling with my demons.
bekka138:
were all flawed in some way, and sometimes its good to share things, especially when you think you shouldnt 