lightbulbjack

Today was a long day at the pickle plantation. I was so board that I nearly slipped into a comma. But just when things looked worst, a three headed lemur came around passing out banana cream pies and silver underpants.

It was at the precise moment when my albino friend, Niles came to me and said, Jack, I have just met the most perfect women for you.

Now, if any other male friend came up to me and said that, my first question would be why is she perfect for me and not for you? Niles only dates other albinos, so he has me intrigued.

Really, I say as I slip into my new silver underpants.

Yes, yes. She is my second cousin twice removed and carried over once.

Ohhh, no, I said as I admired the way the underpants clung to my buttocks. The last perfect girl Niles set me up with collected pear clipart. In fact, she had nearly thirty two thousand pieces of pear clipart. I know this because she showed me each piece on our first date. She was an all right kind of girl, but once I told her I was really more of an apple kind of guy, things just seemed to fall apart. You had better get your underpants on, the investors will be here any moment.

This wont be like the last one, I promise. My cousin has the most unique ability the you wont find in any other girl out there.

Ok, Ill bite. What makes this girl so special?

Her left nipple dispenses the world most tasty watermelon shooters.

To be continued