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lightbulbjack

Island of Misfit Toys

Member Since 2003

Followers 16 Following 20

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Tuesday Apr 13, 2004

Apr 13, 2004
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You better stop
Look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your nine-teenth nervous breakdown.
19TH NERVOUS BREAKDOWN by the Rolling Stones.

It seems more like my two millionth nervous break down. So, heres the deal. Saturday I had another little mental blowout. Im not proud of myself for letting it bog me down and not go to the Dj vu get together. More importantly, Im not ashamed of it.

This is who I am. Sometimes my screwed up little noggin gets the best of me.

Saturday during the day I went and had Easter dinner with my family. I havent seen there since x-mas. One of my sister lives like five minutes from me, but Ive let things drift.

I had a great time with them. My brother and I took my nieces and another little boy down by the river on my other sister place and roasted marshmallows.

I was in charge of watching my 3-year-old niece. Like any child, she quickly discovered that its much more fun to set the marshmallows on fire than to roast them. For a 3 year old, she could wield a stick with a ball of fire on the end like Yoda with a lightsaber. (Im a geek, deal)

Anyhoo, the day was fun. On the ride back up I started thinking about my mom. She loved Easter. She would always make these huge family dinners for us. Her favorite movie was the Godfather. It was an Easter tradition we watch it. She didnt like violent or bloody movies but she loved the Godfather.

The more I thought about her the more depressed I got. Pretty soon I was in a full swing panic attack. There were a lot of things that contributed to it. Thats what got the ball rolling.

I could have made myself go, but I felt like I was in such a mood that I would just be a downer to everyone, so I just went to bed.

Thats my sad tale of why I wasnt there on Saturday. I am who I am. Sometimes I beat it and can be with people, other times it beats me.

I do really want to meet and get to know a lot of the people from the site. Hopefully, youll give a head case like me another shot.
ooo aaa
evanx:
can you sleep
its on your mind
youre full of doubt
your heads a blur
you better stop and look around
because here it comes
dont scare yourself
your twentieth nervous breakdown is on the verge

youre too neurotic, uptight
and too tense to function
you look for help
and heads are turned
all alone cant hide yourself
you're too exposed
you must perform
the clock is ticking
you better stop and look around
dont you want to get away
and blow it off?
the easy way and leave yourself
with nothing, empty
couldve beens and regrets
its all youve got

its all youve got now

Snapcase - Twentieth Nervous Breakdown


----

I feel your pain, man. I get like that too sometimes. It happens, and there's always next time!

smile
Apr 13, 2004
willdabeast:
i understand some of what you are going through. i lost my mother just over 10 years ago and i still miss her.
Apr 13, 2004

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