A users guide to Lightbulbjack.
Strange but true facts, in no particular order.
I once stood outside a movie theater in a snowstorm to see Rocky 4. Every time a truck drove passed it slashed slush on everyone in line.
When I was 17 I hide in some reeds with a friend of mine to avoid a Sheriff marine patrol boat.
I hit an orange construction barrels with a Ryder truck at 55 mph just because I always wanted to. It was anchored with sand in the bottom, not one of the water filled ones. It was worth it.
When my toaster broke, I rewired the inside to fix it. Did you know a toaster could explode? Yeah, I didnt either.
I was celibate for 5 years. I came out of retirement in Las Vegas with a stripper named Electra. (Note: There is a difference between choosing not to have sex and not being able to get laid.)
More tidbits later.
The other day Ninedayjane asked me what sports I like to play. I thought about it and said basketball, but I havent played in a long time. When I thought about it more I realized that I dont really have any outdoor activities. She asked, do you ski, swim, play golf? Ive been skiing once; I liked it but have never been again. I never learned to swim. As for golf, Im wicked on a put-put course but have never played real golf. Jane informed me that put-put is not real golf. I beg to differ.
I like bowling. I suck at it, but its fun. In college I took a bowling class to fill out some credits. The class was a blast. The instructor didnt care if we drank. Toss back some beers and get the easiest 4.0 you could ever want.
Anyhoo, back to my lack of playing sports. When I was 13 I was in a car accident that fucked up my back. The bottom third of my spine got twisted 180 degrees. For a better idea of what this means, try this. Put your hand on the small of your back. The vertebrae you feel back there were turned so instead of facing my back; they were facing my belly button. Let me tell ya, this isnt a pleasant feeling. The muscles around there locked down like a vice and held everything together. At the time of the accident they didnt know how bad it was. It was years later before they were able to get it straitened out. It still has a tendency to turn a bit when my back go's out.
Add on top of that, cartilage degeneration in both knees. Eventually Im going to need to have one of possible both replaced. Same problem in my left shoulder.
Basically Im falling apart. So I try not to do things that that I know will cause me pain.
Strange but true facts, in no particular order.
I once stood outside a movie theater in a snowstorm to see Rocky 4. Every time a truck drove passed it slashed slush on everyone in line.
When I was 17 I hide in some reeds with a friend of mine to avoid a Sheriff marine patrol boat.
I hit an orange construction barrels with a Ryder truck at 55 mph just because I always wanted to. It was anchored with sand in the bottom, not one of the water filled ones. It was worth it.
When my toaster broke, I rewired the inside to fix it. Did you know a toaster could explode? Yeah, I didnt either.
I was celibate for 5 years. I came out of retirement in Las Vegas with a stripper named Electra. (Note: There is a difference between choosing not to have sex and not being able to get laid.)
More tidbits later.
The other day Ninedayjane asked me what sports I like to play. I thought about it and said basketball, but I havent played in a long time. When I thought about it more I realized that I dont really have any outdoor activities. She asked, do you ski, swim, play golf? Ive been skiing once; I liked it but have never been again. I never learned to swim. As for golf, Im wicked on a put-put course but have never played real golf. Jane informed me that put-put is not real golf. I beg to differ.
I like bowling. I suck at it, but its fun. In college I took a bowling class to fill out some credits. The class was a blast. The instructor didnt care if we drank. Toss back some beers and get the easiest 4.0 you could ever want.
Anyhoo, back to my lack of playing sports. When I was 13 I was in a car accident that fucked up my back. The bottom third of my spine got twisted 180 degrees. For a better idea of what this means, try this. Put your hand on the small of your back. The vertebrae you feel back there were turned so instead of facing my back; they were facing my belly button. Let me tell ya, this isnt a pleasant feeling. The muscles around there locked down like a vice and held everything together. At the time of the accident they didnt know how bad it was. It was years later before they were able to get it straitened out. It still has a tendency to turn a bit when my back go's out.
Add on top of that, cartilage degeneration in both knees. Eventually Im going to need to have one of possible both replaced. Same problem in my left shoulder.
Basically Im falling apart. So I try not to do things that that I know will cause me pain.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
panzermensch:
Yep 
. Come to my birthday party! 
.
. Come to my birthday party! .
panzermensch:
Feb. 27th. There's a post about it in the KZoo and Day-Twah Groups...