Im going crazy. Its me against the world, And the world is winning. The only thing I dont know now is when I loose completely, What the fuck happens next? Is this all just in my head? I know not all of it is.. But am I making up the rest? Am I being too paranoid? I cant even trust myself these days. I need someone else to tell me what to do, what to think, anyone... God I need to get some fucking help.
Elaboration:
Around Christmas me and my boyfriend lived with two friends, myles and stacey, they're engaged.
While we were there myles and stacey started trying to convince my boyfriend (Dave) that he was really unhappy with me, Dave is .. lets just say different. He doesnt understand emotions the same way as everyone else. He's easily confused. Stacey started telling Dave she could get rid of me for him, and they'd buy him nice things, cook him dinner, suck up to him in alot of ways. While they were doing that, I'd get yelled at for not pulling my weight around the house and I'd get alot of shit from them. One day when I was coming home from work, there was a note on the door telling me I was only allowed to come back there if I was getting my stuff. They kicked me out. SO I knocked on the door, My boyfriend answered... I asked if I was allowed inside to talk to Stacey and Myles, They told me I could stay until I found somewhere else to go.
That whole time, My boyfriend acted like he was on my side, Like he felt sorry and there was nothing he could do about it. I wasnt about to ask him to move out and be homeless with me, He had somewhere to stay. But basically i didnt know he was in on it at all. I had no idea they were conspiring against me. After a few days me and Dave found another apartment, and we moved out together. He told me he only got the new apartment for me.
Last month Stacey told me what really happened because we were fighting, She told me Dave told them to have me kicked out, That he didnt know how to get rid of me. And he hated having sex with me, He talked about inviting other girls over while I wasnt home... When I asked him if it was true, He told me the only thing that was true is him agreeign to kick me out...
At that point we got into a huge fight, I was so upset that I was puking. I told him I was going to pack my stuff and be gone within a week, But he begged me to forgive him. Dave is extremely unemotional, It takes ALOT for him to admit he was wrong. I told him if he talked to Stacey and she believed him, I would believe him. Because if she's the one he told all of this to, If she said he was lying why should I believe him? He tried calling her ASAP, When that didnt work he sent her a message telling her he was wrong and that he really liked me and wanted to be with me.. She didnt buy it.
I dropped it anyways, Because he tried. And he begged me to stay.. If he really wanted me hone that would have been a perfect way to get rid of me, That would have been his chance.
But now I cant get it out of my head, Its haunting me. Its tearing me apart...
Elaboration:
Around Christmas me and my boyfriend lived with two friends, myles and stacey, they're engaged.
While we were there myles and stacey started trying to convince my boyfriend (Dave) that he was really unhappy with me, Dave is .. lets just say different. He doesnt understand emotions the same way as everyone else. He's easily confused. Stacey started telling Dave she could get rid of me for him, and they'd buy him nice things, cook him dinner, suck up to him in alot of ways. While they were doing that, I'd get yelled at for not pulling my weight around the house and I'd get alot of shit from them. One day when I was coming home from work, there was a note on the door telling me I was only allowed to come back there if I was getting my stuff. They kicked me out. SO I knocked on the door, My boyfriend answered... I asked if I was allowed inside to talk to Stacey and Myles, They told me I could stay until I found somewhere else to go.
That whole time, My boyfriend acted like he was on my side, Like he felt sorry and there was nothing he could do about it. I wasnt about to ask him to move out and be homeless with me, He had somewhere to stay. But basically i didnt know he was in on it at all. I had no idea they were conspiring against me. After a few days me and Dave found another apartment, and we moved out together. He told me he only got the new apartment for me.
Last month Stacey told me what really happened because we were fighting, She told me Dave told them to have me kicked out, That he didnt know how to get rid of me. And he hated having sex with me, He talked about inviting other girls over while I wasnt home... When I asked him if it was true, He told me the only thing that was true is him agreeign to kick me out...
At that point we got into a huge fight, I was so upset that I was puking. I told him I was going to pack my stuff and be gone within a week, But he begged me to forgive him. Dave is extremely unemotional, It takes ALOT for him to admit he was wrong. I told him if he talked to Stacey and she believed him, I would believe him. Because if she's the one he told all of this to, If she said he was lying why should I believe him? He tried calling her ASAP, When that didnt work he sent her a message telling her he was wrong and that he really liked me and wanted to be with me.. She didnt buy it.
I dropped it anyways, Because he tried. And he begged me to stay.. If he really wanted me hone that would have been a perfect way to get rid of me, That would have been his chance.
But now I cant get it out of my head, Its haunting me. Its tearing me apart...
usually its the mind that causes this havoc...
you want to ellaborate?