Three months since my last post, poetic no?
Truth be told it's more an accident more than anything else. I've been on another planet. I came by to check on someone. [crazy glad to hear you are doing better Simon]
So, yeah, three months. It would be easy for me to spill my guts out about every minute detail that has happened since I last wrote, but frankly I don't have the energy.
My stepdaughter is back at home. She can't talk, but she can laugh, or walk, but is trying to sit up. But she is home. I take my daughter to see her once a week, and we spend our time making fart jokes and laughing. It's good to hear her in there, good to see that big smile. My daughter handles it pretty well, being almost five she is a source of energy that can really only be understood by other parents. Sometimes she's a little too high energy for her sister's bedside, but they both seem to enjoy the other's company. Other times, more rarely, her big sister isn't feeling as well and screams or cries, which is hard for an adult to see, I can't imagine how hard it is for her. I tell her it's all a part of her recovery and the best thing we can do is tell her we love her and try to keep her laughing.
Her [my stepdaughter's] Mom and I are are surprisingly good terms. We usually compare notes regarding our mutual ex, and find some small solidarity in hating him. [and yes, I realize hate is a strong word, and I do hate him.]
My ex is back at this Mom's. He hasn't seen his eldest in over a month, it's likely he never will again. He sees our daughter on Fridays and Saturdays, but that's really more out a need for childcare on my part than it is a desire for him to see her. If he weren't living with his mother I wouldn't allow him to have her overnight. It's a long, dramatic story, but let's just say his attempted rape was the tip of the iceburg.
And of course, because the universe being what it is, there is a boy. He's awesome. Mythically so. This past weekend he even managed to piss me off and make me cry. Which, admittedly is not the sentence you usually see after someone is described as "mythically awesome", but hear me out. Things have been going so well between us that the creeping fear that I would suddenly wake up and it would have all been a wonderful dream was starting to settle in. The ability to piss me off proves it's all real, with bad days and everything. I've really needed wonderful aspects to my reality these days.
Everything else is pretty much the usual grind. Long days, long nights, up days, down days. Trying to figure out what to do with my life now that the summer is over and everything is being cast in that sobering [however beautiful] autumnal light.
Truth be told it's more an accident more than anything else. I've been on another planet. I came by to check on someone. [crazy glad to hear you are doing better Simon]
So, yeah, three months. It would be easy for me to spill my guts out about every minute detail that has happened since I last wrote, but frankly I don't have the energy.
My stepdaughter is back at home. She can't talk, but she can laugh, or walk, but is trying to sit up. But she is home. I take my daughter to see her once a week, and we spend our time making fart jokes and laughing. It's good to hear her in there, good to see that big smile. My daughter handles it pretty well, being almost five she is a source of energy that can really only be understood by other parents. Sometimes she's a little too high energy for her sister's bedside, but they both seem to enjoy the other's company. Other times, more rarely, her big sister isn't feeling as well and screams or cries, which is hard for an adult to see, I can't imagine how hard it is for her. I tell her it's all a part of her recovery and the best thing we can do is tell her we love her and try to keep her laughing.
Her [my stepdaughter's] Mom and I are are surprisingly good terms. We usually compare notes regarding our mutual ex, and find some small solidarity in hating him. [and yes, I realize hate is a strong word, and I do hate him.]
My ex is back at this Mom's. He hasn't seen his eldest in over a month, it's likely he never will again. He sees our daughter on Fridays and Saturdays, but that's really more out a need for childcare on my part than it is a desire for him to see her. If he weren't living with his mother I wouldn't allow him to have her overnight. It's a long, dramatic story, but let's just say his attempted rape was the tip of the iceburg.
And of course, because the universe being what it is, there is a boy. He's awesome. Mythically so. This past weekend he even managed to piss me off and make me cry. Which, admittedly is not the sentence you usually see after someone is described as "mythically awesome", but hear me out. Things have been going so well between us that the creeping fear that I would suddenly wake up and it would have all been a wonderful dream was starting to settle in. The ability to piss me off proves it's all real, with bad days and everything. I've really needed wonderful aspects to my reality these days.
Everything else is pretty much the usual grind. Long days, long nights, up days, down days. Trying to figure out what to do with my life now that the summer is over and everything is being cast in that sobering [however beautiful] autumnal light.