libberillious

I woke up in a horrendous mood this morning. Which is weird and rare. The first thing I wanted to do this morning was bawl my eyeballs out and break dishes.
My dog, he has cancer. Which really is bad enough, but my mom and I have a sort of strange joint custody of him, so any decisions regarding the dog have to be cosigned by both of us. And well.....mom's crazy.
Once upon a time I wanted to be vet. Went to school and everything. I stopped short of vet school for 2 reasons. 1: I really love doing hair. and 2: As close as I could ever be to understanding the necessity of death, I could never play it's role. That being said...I am not so naive as to put my best friend through unspeakable pain so I feel better.
I think as humans, we have a responsibility to our animals, different than to our children or fellow humans. There are no words or pictures or affections I could give my dog to make him understand why he is so ill. There is no way I can explain to him what losing his leg will be like,or how long rehab will take. I can't even make him understand that if we decided to put him down, that I have always loved him, and that I always will. I think the greatest thing we learn as pet owners is to truly put before ourselves, our companions. To not force them to endure horrible pain and fear for the sake of our love. At some point you learn, through pain or grief, sometimes it's better to let go. Tomorrow we all go talk to the surgeon and find out what's what. Maybe we will have good news. But until then, we're gonna watch Star Trek, and I'lll cry because I have been, and ever shall be his friend.