lexiedeluxe

I'm actually feeling better lately--less stressed, more together, and suddenly able to breathe again. I think part of it might be the big dose of alone time this week. Although it has been good for me, I really don't want to have it too often--I think a couple of hours here and there should do the trick from now on. The sunlight (at least on those days when it's not raining) has probably helped, too. I'll take the blinding light in my eyes as I head east to the highway each morning, as long as it means I am not making the trek to Princeton in total darkness. And if I leave on time now, I actually get to make about half the drive home with a little daylight. It's amazing how that can change your perspective. I wonder if I might suffer from a mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder. If so, things should only keep getting better as the days get longer. I'm also feeling a little more in control of my life now that I'm getting organized again. My papers are all filed or shredded. My bills are on their way to being consolidated and paid off. My closet is straightened, and I think I have finally come to terms with my body enough to give away all the size 2 and 4 designer duds that still hang there, mocking me. Hard to believe I fit into those just a year ago. I'm making an effort to cut back on sugar, fat and caffeine now, but I'm not going to starve myself again. I just want to be healthy and fit and get over all the old hang ups and bullshit. I don't want the stereotypical white picket fence American life, but I think I'm on my way to defining my own version of that--and that makes me really happy.