lesborella

Check this out:



This is what my mom sent me for my birthday. This may be the ugliest item of clothing ever conceived. I believe it is from the landsend Medusa collection, as in, you might turn to stone if you look directly at it. The picture doesn't do it justice. And I looked it up, and it was an overstock (thanks mom) I'm not complaining about the price. I'm just saying, sometimes things are overstocked for a reason. Like they're hideous. I am not a good looking guy. I'm balding, I'm fat, I wear glasses. If I donned this shirt I would make children cry when they saw me. Women would swoon. Strong men might get away with just a slight trembling, like someone walked over their grave.

When I was a kid, my mom bought everyone in the family seafoam green polo shirts, and somehow decided that this was our family color, that we should wear this color in family pictures. If you're wondering if my family rocks the seafoam green polo shirts, we do not.

I was hoping Giacomo would eat it, but he refuses to go near it. He just huddles in the corner with his tail between his legs.