lesa

Memoirs of an Insomniac Bride

Okay. Our wedding is less than two months away, and I'm to the point now where I cannot fall asleep at night. As soon as I lay my head on the pillow, it's as though my eyes pop open and my mind starts to spin with all the things I still need to do, ideas that come up that I've never thought of before, all kinds of scenarios of nerves and things that could (and very well may) go wrong... it's nuts. Nuts, I'm telling you!

I'm not angry or anything, it's just bizarre. For instance, last night, I found myself trying to remember the vows I'd written, and I couldn't! So I got up out of bed, sat at the kitchen table and read them through. Then I started to think, "Hmmm... How long will the readings take?", which led to "Should I time them now?", which , of course, led to a total stream of conciousness.. "Should I set a clock to see how long I estimate the ceremony will be? How will I time everything to the music? And who will play the music that I can depend on? Who will know me well enough to do things right? Who can I count on to not lose themselves in the vows, or allow their thoughts to drift off into space and lose the moment to queue the music altogether...."?

See what I mean? I went to bed three times and got back up two times last night. The only reason I finally fell asleep is because I let my fingers do the walking. I should have woke my blissfully sleeping fiance, but I couldn't. He was too angelic.

Gah!