leodorable

sometimes it's really hard for me to grasp that there are people that love me as much as i love them. like obviously my mom is going to love me, she kinda has to lol. but then it gets to my friends and i really fucking love my friends, like im obsessed with my best friend, it's on the verge of stalkerdom and she still loves me even though i'm insane and doodle little cartoons of her smoking in my art history notes. i just don't usually think that someone that awesome is so down to be there for me too. then there's my boyfriend and ohemgee this boy must seriously love me or be crazier than i am. he has seen me at my absolute worst, he knows that i am a worrier, always in my own head, fucking crazy about him, and an emotional wreck half the time, but he still wants to be with me and travel the world with me and i cant wrap my head around it. the idea is so foreign to me that i'm sitting here bawling because i'm happy. ugh lol and there are at least three other people that are still around and it amazes me.
i wouldn't trade these people, whom i can count on my hand, for a million fake or half friends that wouldn't wake up for me at three in the morning for good or bad news. sure i like to party, but fuck a house full of people i don't know when i can hit the beach at 1am with my best friend and a couple of 40s. fuck some boyfriend who can afford to take me to dinner and movies every weekend, and buy me superficial gifts when i have one that got me my favorite piece of art on my dorm wall and loves me for all the crazy shit i put him through. and fuck having a normal family when i have the best mom a girl could ever ask for. haha ok i need to stop now, ramble over