lenoredoll

Shamans burn all their earthly possessions once their training is done. Its a ritual that symbolizes rebirth, much like a phoenix.

I sometimes wish people could burn their pasts. Some memories are just too heavy to carry around, and if these cumbersome histories could turn to ash, the weight would be gone. We could be reborn. We could all fly away.

I dont usually remember my dreams, but when I do, they tend to be very strange. The ones I remember the most vividly tend to be very violent. Maybe this is because Im such a non-violent person that the scary dreams stand out to my conscious self. Whatever the reason, I think Ill write about my dream last night.

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A girl is haunting me....
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There are nights when the darkness itself seems too awake. The city lights make the sky hide in pitch black, and the edges of the world sharpen. Im afraid if I get too close to the edges. Ill cut myself and bleed to death. Then in the morning, when the sunlight softens everything, the news will report of some random mysterious death. Authorities will assume...
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I found myself in the sky one day. I looked pretty happy.

I liked how the clouds were fluffy in the distance but cold and wet in reality. The lining wasnt so silver, but it was close enough. I never could get enough of that lining.

Rays of light would warm and brown my skin. Id eventually die of skin cancerbut I still looked pretty...
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I just spent a bunch of hours doing homework and drinking coffee. Now my head is all fuzzy.

And Dan just told me Mitch Hedberg died... I don't know why, but I'm really sad to hear that. I'm even more sad to hear it might be due to a heroin overdose. Such a sad sad way for a funny man to die.

Just incase you...
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I hung out with the oh-so-cute otoki today, and you should all be jealous. Jealous I tell you!

On a similiar note, I just found out Carla Gugino has a nude scene in Sin City. Now that in itself is worth the price of admission. I've been excited about this movie since I read the comics. I'm even more excited and in more ways, hehe.

I went to church today. Thing is, Im not Christian.

Its a really long story as to why I went, but thats not what Im going to talk about right now. What Im going to talk about is how strange the experience was. You see I grew up in a Catholic school, so Christianity has never been a scary or even remotely foreign concept to...
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I have a test in 7 hours. What the fuck am I still doing up?!

The stress has been getting to me this semester. I think it's because I have a really intense year and some ahead of me. This is not your typical school year mind you. This is spring, may, summer, fall, and spring term. Not to mention hoping some of my maybe...
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Ive been craving cigarettes as of late. Really bad. Ive had months of being all good and not craving, but now its been hitting me hard for a good 2 weeks. Im resisting the temptation to go to the market at the corner right now by writing instead, but I think this is making it worseand so I stop.

The lack of inspiration is killing...
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grr....i'm thinking about getting maddly drunk right about now cause i'm so freakin upset....too bad i dont drink and i have class tomorrow morning...shoot me now.

Jackie just got into MIT for her graduate work on circuits. She didn't even want to apply, but I knew she deserved to be there. After she told me she got in, she thanked me for the advice I gave her; it made me want to cry. Don't get me wrong. I'm very proud of her and happy for her. It's just the news reminded...
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