lemonkid

Wow Rubix's Halloween party was off the hook. I definitely ingested too many controlled substances. I think I also burned the inside of my throat on a magma-tempered French fry afterwards. I also ate a Mainburger - which is a hamburger that also has smoked meat on it. Ahhh, decadent 5:00 am drunken excess. Thanks to Kali & Kaffeine who helped ensure I made it home in one piece.

One of the things I've been thinking about lately, and since just before I left China, is the concept of selfishness. A degree of selfishness is necessary, ensuring your needs are met, not trying to placate others also fosters a useful kind of personal decisiveness.

I suppose making sure your needs are met I just view a baseline acceptable state, therefore not selfish. I'm a big believer in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I don't have it all figured out, but one of the most valuable takeaways I got from doing my 800 km walking pilgrimage in Spain, is that selfishness is a weight on our shoulders, best removed by letting things go, giving things away, helping other people.

This looseness is valuable gives the freedom for me to partake in some of my other core values - spontaneity, improvision, creativity. What I've discovered is that once you drop the blinders of selfishness the world opens up in depth and complexity.

This isn't always a good thing, isn't always an easy thing. I feel like a tightrope walker between two distant peaks - learning the ropes - feeling the rush of freedom, but knowing that I'm navigating an infinitely more subtle and complex personal world with few safety lines.