lelio

latenight postshower naked airdrying, with pop tarts and suicidegirls.
non bottled water in a waterbottle.
free time a free ryhme and soon ill be busy again.
work-pleasure-pleasure-work-work-free time?

I wanna be a builder.
i wanna build robots.
with programming that involves lots of random variables. but i want them to have goals. and remember the random things they did and rate them in hierarchy of how much closer it got them to their goals.

I wanna build a website.
that nonbody but me and my friends goto but it still looks all flashy and expensive.

I wanna rebuild my computer.
ive benn using the carputer too long as a temporary device. the hotrod hangs on my wall, dark and lifeless.

I wanna build music
that annoys everyone but me. and when i listen to it, I feel like im masturbating.

i wanna build a home.
out of an old industrial building in downtown LA, It would have a roll up door so i can drive my car into the living room/garage. Id build a bed/loft thing and sleep about 6 feet off the ground. with walls around the mattress and windows that looked out on the living room.

I wanna have my heart broken
So i can be all melodramatic and melancholly.

right now im only mel-o

You think girls would be more comfortable dating me if i told them they could hurt me all they want? that, in fact i would like them to do so?

If i told them up front that if they want they can build up my hopes and expectations for a couple of weeks, and then tell me im a loser.
theyve been sleeping with my friend. he's better than me.
they never wanna see me again.
Its all been false.

I want to be ripped open, exposed, and torn apart. totally disseminated. Its the only way i can do a custom rebuild of myself.