When i was 14 I loved.
a girl, a place, a day, a book, an idea,
when i discovered something new, it was my religon, a basis for the foundation of the universe, the reason for living,.... until I found something else.
When i was 14 I found a revolver under a tree that stood in a bed of leaves 6 inches deep. We did, she reminded me over hash browns and coffee last week.
We had followed the stream for a mile or 2 and then jumped to the other side when it seemed there was no more footing on ours, the other side was leaves. when you landed on them the leaves respond with barely a rustle before they become dust and spiders, your foot, from the ankle down also, becomes dust and spiders. You have to jerk your foot up quick to keep the spiders from crawling up your leg like the goosebumps did a half a second ago. put your foot down somewhere else,
somewhere else is also leaves.
keep pulling it up and putting it down as fast as you can, as far as you can until you find a tree, tree's have roots, stand close to the tree and kick any leaves (dust and spiders) away from you to make a small oasis.
I kicked something solid. it was crusted with dirt, probably looked 10 times older than it really was, and when i touched it I almost threw up. we carried it back with us dangling from a bike chain since neither of us could bare to touch it for more than an instant, I remeber it was deceptively heavy, eventually we decided to just bury it somewhere random and decide what to do with it later. of course that really meant we would never say or do anything about it again. In fact it went unmentioned or thought of for years, until last week.
when the world comes in,
they come,
they come,
to build a wall between us,
you know they won't win....
okay that whole thing was a random tangent that put me to sleep before i could finish my thought.
When i was young i used to sit and think about one thing for hours. I had such concentration, how did i get to be so scattered nowadays? when i was 13 my dad explained how an open differential on a car distrubutes power to either side even at different speeds. For hours i thought about it, my mind was full of images of cone shaped spider gears and shafts. I understood how it worked but for somereason just picturing it seemed to make me happy, thinking abut how they first came up with the idea, all the things people might have tried before they got it right, wondering if i wouldve been able to come up with it by myself if i had to.
I used to put down every book when i was done and think about how radically different my mind was now that i had read it.
did everyone lose their lust for life as they got older? or am i just in a rut?
im gonna go fix the neighbors computer, maybe ill be back.
a girl, a place, a day, a book, an idea,
when i discovered something new, it was my religon, a basis for the foundation of the universe, the reason for living,.... until I found something else.
When i was 14 I found a revolver under a tree that stood in a bed of leaves 6 inches deep. We did, she reminded me over hash browns and coffee last week.
We had followed the stream for a mile or 2 and then jumped to the other side when it seemed there was no more footing on ours, the other side was leaves. when you landed on them the leaves respond with barely a rustle before they become dust and spiders, your foot, from the ankle down also, becomes dust and spiders. You have to jerk your foot up quick to keep the spiders from crawling up your leg like the goosebumps did a half a second ago. put your foot down somewhere else,
somewhere else is also leaves.
keep pulling it up and putting it down as fast as you can, as far as you can until you find a tree, tree's have roots, stand close to the tree and kick any leaves (dust and spiders) away from you to make a small oasis.
I kicked something solid. it was crusted with dirt, probably looked 10 times older than it really was, and when i touched it I almost threw up. we carried it back with us dangling from a bike chain since neither of us could bare to touch it for more than an instant, I remeber it was deceptively heavy, eventually we decided to just bury it somewhere random and decide what to do with it later. of course that really meant we would never say or do anything about it again. In fact it went unmentioned or thought of for years, until last week.
when the world comes in,
they come,
they come,
to build a wall between us,
you know they won't win....
okay that whole thing was a random tangent that put me to sleep before i could finish my thought.
When i was young i used to sit and think about one thing for hours. I had such concentration, how did i get to be so scattered nowadays? when i was 13 my dad explained how an open differential on a car distrubutes power to either side even at different speeds. For hours i thought about it, my mind was full of images of cone shaped spider gears and shafts. I understood how it worked but for somereason just picturing it seemed to make me happy, thinking abut how they first came up with the idea, all the things people might have tried before they got it right, wondering if i wouldve been able to come up with it by myself if i had to.
I used to put down every book when i was done and think about how radically different my mind was now that i had read it.
did everyone lose their lust for life as they got older? or am i just in a rut?
im gonna go fix the neighbors computer, maybe ill be back.
OK, Madison, I moved here to go to school and get a Ph.D. so that's cool. I know, it would've been cooler had this been a totally random thing.
Yesterday I learned that I suck and windsurfing. But now I am going to try sailing again.
I found an old gun in my grandmother's closet years and years ago (when she was still living alone). I was shocked when i opened the shoebox and found it. Of course I had to pick it up and it was really heavy. It upset me so I put it away quickly. I must have been about 12.