Good morning everyone. Recently I have been having a lot going on in my life. Personally and work related. Things have been rough, but I have realized that writing has been helping me, especially my support system. I have no shame in telling my fears and what I battle everyday. This is something I wrote last night. I feel better. Which is a great thing! I hope all you beautiful people enjoy.
Obsession ✖️
I am scared for what is to come. My mind won't stop, not even for a second. My obsession is slowly getting stronger, my obsession is slowly taking over. I am scared for what is to come.
I can't make it stop. What I see is significantly different from what others see. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. It's absolutely disgusting and makes me nauseous.
I miss what I use to see. It was the sweetest corrupt ecstasy of feeling thin and beautiful. Not a misplaced piece of fat. Perfect curvature of the hour glass shape I was given. I saw such a beautiful girl.
But now I am laying here suffocating from the fact that I can't bare to look at who I am now. I want to feel that ecstasy feeling again. I want to feel it now. I want to feel it forever. This obsession isn't slowly taking over, this obsession has taken over. I can't make it stop, nor do I wish it too. I am not scared for what is to come anymore.
