Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

lego_

Member Since 2003

Followers 59 Following 183

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Thursday Sep 02, 2004

Sep 2, 2004
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Thank you so much for your kind words today. They were a bright spot in an otherwise awful day.

Let's not discuss yesterday's events any further, but I don't think it'd be an overstatement to say I was haunted by thoughts of it today. I'm trying to continue positive attitude, but it's so hard when frankly I really feel like half of me just died.

I've also picked up a flu-ey cold which has made me feel rancid (it's been coming for a few days) and not made keeping a clear head about things any easier.

Sent a letter to my British uni yesterday in a pre-paid envelope with their address in BIG letters on the front and discreetly adding my name on the back in wee letters in case it should get lost. Today the stupid Swedish post office RETURNED it to me! Like, WTF?! It was even in a Swedish envelope- it simply defies all sense!! I added a "To" and "From" in big letters and re-posted it, just to make sure it gets there this time. Trouble is, it's already postmarked. It'd better get there!

I have no vices to fall back on: I'm ill so no drinking (it'd probably be a bad idea if I were well), I've decided that self-destruction (including smoking) wouldn't help anyone, anything sexual is right out, and I can't afford to buy myself a guitar to express my blues 'cos I have no idea what my expenditure for textbooks etc is going to be like next week. I've decided not to even let myself blame Steph, as this was as much my fault as it was hers.

Oh, DO NOT download Windows Service Pack 2 if you have a laptop. Mine started refusing to even bring up the manufacturer's logo this afternoon because of it, taking away my last possibilities of relief in chat, email and my media library (I have no CD's with me).

All in all, I've spent most of today feeling like a dirty old mess moping round the streets of Skne with no relief in sight. There have been moments where I simply didn't know what to think-just feeling numb, beaten and lonely.

Good things:
The few mates I've told here have been supportive- if not very demonstrative- for me.

My laptop is back to normal(ish) but I'm not feeling too confident about my (mouse)touchpad.

There's no way anything's happening, but there's a cute girl on my corridor who has no clue how much she brightened up my day.

At least I have SOME money, if not enough to get a decent guitar.

The sun shone today, pretty much all day. When your life's going this badly, that seems like some consolation.



I want someone to hold me. No kissing or sex- I just need a hug.

Thanks again for your love, though. I reeeeally appreciate it. Honestly, I do.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
holy_mountain:
No vices to fall back on? Ouch blackeyed
You'll get through this eventually, take care of yourself.
Sep 3, 2004
ciel:
YOUR SWEDISH


WELL DONE YOU HAHHAAHAHAHA I AM PISSED
Sep 4, 2004

More Blogs

  • 05.21.21
    0

    Reflections and echoes

    Took the bait and signed up again, just to see what's new. It'…
  • 05.31.15
    2

    Sunday

    I'm back. I've started a new journal so I reactivated my account…
  • 03.10.14
    0

    Monday

    This might be the first time I've used the site in 2014. The way th…
  • 06.20.13
    1

    Thursday Jun 20, 2013

    Getting a little sick of my whining. Need to start winning. Not in …
  • 06.05.13
    0

    Wednesday Jun 05, 2013

    Bad day. Shaping to be a bad week. Wank.
  • 05.28.13
    1

    Tuesday May 28, 2013

    On Sunday, a couple of my friends talked me into trying out weightlif…
  • 11.10.12
    3

    Sunday Nov 11, 2012

    Next spring, I will have been on SG for 10 years. TEN. Now, I've been…
  • 08.18.12
    4

    Sunday Aug 19, 2012

    Of 56 people on my friends list on here, 22 friends' accounts have ei…
  • 05.09.12
    2

    Wednesday May 09, 2012

    Oh man, it has been a month already- where does the time go? Gener…
  • 04.05.12
    2

    Thursday Apr 05, 2012

    At the moment, I am overwhelmed by how fragile life is. So many youn…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
20
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,599 SuicideGirls
  • 1,114,228 followers
  • 14,946,099 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,456,705 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo