I know this isn't particularly unusual, but I really dislike my job. I don't like to whine about it, because I know it's better than not having a job, and that it's better than a great many other jobs, but all the same… It's odd. I've never had a group of people make me feel so unwelcome. It's like we can't find a thing to have in common. Virtually the entire staff went to Psych Fest, and I can't figure out why, honestly. They raved about Tame Impala and the Flaming Lips and put down pretty much EVERY SINGLE other band that played: Spiritualized, Jesus & Mary Chain, Primal Scream, 13th Floor Elevators (whose songs the festival and all its stages were named after), etc. This may not seem like a big deal, but it just illustrates what a vast gap that exists between us. They are consistently unpleasant and patronizing, and the best thing I can say about the job is that its making me work harder to a) get back to school and finish my degree, and b) to work on my writing.
Aside from work, I can officially say I'm in the bell jar. Life is feeling stale and uninspiring, and I need a change. The problem is it's hard to make a change when you feel this way. Maybe I should go back to working at the strip club. I hated the clientele and the way they treated the ladies, but the hours were more suited to me, the money was better(even if it typically came in a moist wad of two dollar bills) and I liked being a source of happiness to whoever was having a bad day. At my current job, when I try to be friendly or personable, they look at me like I'm an alien. They seem to bond with each other by talking shit and ridiculing each other, which I can understand when you're doing it with close friends, but it doesn't feel right with people you've only just met. Other than you guys, and my therapist, theres no one I can talk about my negative feelings with. If they care about you, it makes them worry. If they don't, you're just a buzzkill. So I'm glad I can come to SG to vent. And to catch up with some lovely people. As usual, I have to thank @shelly_ for always giving me something to smile about.
I'm going to see Mad Max later tonight, so I should probably rest for a while, watch a movie on Netflix and maybe journal or write some lousy poetry. Haha. I appreciate all of you guys for making this site what it is, which is so much more than just a home for pictures of lovely, sexy women. I think a lot of wonderful, compassionate and artistic people congregate here, and I'll always be glad to be a part of this community. See, I feel better already. And I didn't have to resort to any drastic measures to do so. I hope you all are well, and living out your dreams. I hope you gave some love to @roamie on her first hopeful set. Talk to you all soon. Anyone out there who is struggling with depression, exhaustion, loneliness, whatever, feel free to contact me. I'll be there to hear you out if you need someone, just as someone has always been there for me when I seemed to be at my lowest. Even if you need to call someone(and i hate talking on the phone) I'll be here. Until then, much love to you all. Thank you for being you. It means the world to people like me sometimes.
Exes and Ohs, Zak
