ToMswhatsitcalled,
I am bent in the head, and this is a public confession. A clearing of ones concious. I have been seeing a girl for some months now. It is a sort of on a again,..off again thing. It has been the most stunning relationship, and it has also endured some big hurdles. I went to her house one night to see her. I found inside a letter that i had once written her on the counter. Beside her bed was stack of text messages i had sent her that she had copied to paper so as not to lose them. Beisde the bed was my a tee shirt of mine that she had beening sleeping in.
She never says much how she feels...apart from that she wants her space. After ten years of shit relationships from what she has told me, I don't blame her if she does not want to be another for a long time.
I hear what she says, and see what her actions are, I can understand why one moment she may love me, the next love fucking me, some times just want a hug..and then just want to be on her own, obligation free. I can understand her because, this is the understanding i may want another to give me one day. her words are important, but her actions give her away.
Today i had a freak out about it all. I couldn't understand why i give so much to a person who says and gives so little back. Who only evers when she hears something ambiquous takes it the wrong way...who one week loves me...the next week not,...rinse,repeat.....who offers much and dilivers little.
I forgot that her actions on her own had given her sentiment away.I forgot the look i accidently saw her giving me after making her laugh. I forgot about how she always tucks her head under my arm when I stay. I forgot she is only ever brave enough to expresss sentiment when not face to face. i forgot to have confidence in myself. I forgot that some people just can't really express their feeling with words...it is their actions...their words only describe what they need and believe is best....it decides what words they use, and uses caution. But actions from the heart decribe what they want and what they care for. I am bent in the head...I forgot this all and made a dick of myself.
I am bent in the head, and this is a public confession. A clearing of ones concious. I have been seeing a girl for some months now. It is a sort of on a again,..off again thing. It has been the most stunning relationship, and it has also endured some big hurdles. I went to her house one night to see her. I found inside a letter that i had once written her on the counter. Beside her bed was stack of text messages i had sent her that she had copied to paper so as not to lose them. Beisde the bed was my a tee shirt of mine that she had beening sleeping in.
She never says much how she feels...apart from that she wants her space. After ten years of shit relationships from what she has told me, I don't blame her if she does not want to be another for a long time.
I hear what she says, and see what her actions are, I can understand why one moment she may love me, the next love fucking me, some times just want a hug..and then just want to be on her own, obligation free. I can understand her because, this is the understanding i may want another to give me one day. her words are important, but her actions give her away.
Today i had a freak out about it all. I couldn't understand why i give so much to a person who says and gives so little back. Who only evers when she hears something ambiquous takes it the wrong way...who one week loves me...the next week not,...rinse,repeat.....who offers much and dilivers little.
I forgot that her actions on her own had given her sentiment away.I forgot the look i accidently saw her giving me after making her laugh. I forgot about how she always tucks her head under my arm when I stay. I forgot she is only ever brave enough to expresss sentiment when not face to face. i forgot to have confidence in myself. I forgot that some people just can't really express their feeling with words...it is their actions...their words only describe what they need and believe is best....it decides what words they use, and uses caution. But actions from the heart decribe what they want and what they care for. I am bent in the head...I forgot this all and made a dick of myself.