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lefthandright

seattle, but kicking in wellington massive currently

Member Since 2006

Followers 16 Following 33

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Friday Oct 13, 2006

Oct 13, 2006
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To Ms.Whatsitcalled,


I feel i am in over my head,
but i like the sinking feeling,
I can still see the surface from underneath,..and still have air in my lungs,
I enjoy being absorbed for now,..the feeling of weightless persists.
I know I could rown,..but i wanna swim.
Instead i rest, and rise slowly the surface again and hope my air holds out.
I want to be your flopsome and jetsome,
The precious thing you find while idly walking the shores.

you seem to have besotted me like a tumor.
You have infected my every cell.
I thought i had it contained,but you have spread to my brain.
I can now feel you in every part of me, like you have replaced my blood,
Like you have become a vital organ of your own.

I can think of a million questions that i would like you to ask me,
and if you did ask, i would say yes.
I would ask myself, but i struggle to find the words that would make it sound perfect.
You twist my stomach and knot my tongue like an overdose, but i keep taking more..
I keep coming back for that hit..and now i am becoming addicted.

I have seen your fireworks from a distance for awhile now,
and thought this time i would come close to the bomb fire to see what effigy you are burning...
now i feel like i have been hit with a molotov of whirlwind,heat and smoke.

The more i get to know you, the more i see we are alot alike,and we are alot like magpies.
What ever shines to us, we want for ourselves,
we will even take risks to capture it,
wether or not it is actually precious matters not,
the fact that it shines is what makes it irresistable.

An even blend of joy and pain.
When you are near i rejoice,
when you are far i feel languid.
You remind me of a kitten...adorable to look at and play with,..but occassionally little moments of pain.
The claws don't hurt so much,..only add to the charm.

But also of a nuclear facility,
I can see your fences and gates,
I can see the sign with the skull and cross bones,
But signs like this have never stopped me before,
I climb over the fence anyway...too curious to see how it all works,
excited by the danger.
I can feel your pulsating and hear your hum and notice the heat with every approaching step.
I feel it in my stomach, like i am radioactive sick..weakened in the knees,
Altered on a d.n.a level,
not for better or for worse..just different to how i felt before.

To feel different with a smile is now what gives me a stride to my step.
I owe it all you girl,...i like you as much as i like the feeling you give me when you are round.
I look forward to seeing this summer through with you. I am glad i meet you at the beginning of it.

Secret admirer.

THIS WAS THE FIRST LOVE LETTER I EVER WROTE. iT WAS OH SO LONG AGO NOW...A YOUNG MAN COMING TO DEAL WITH INTENSE EMOTIONS...IT MAKES ME LAUGH NOW TO READ IT. i NOW KNOW HOW FAR I HAVE COME SINCE I HAVE WROTE THIS. I NOW KNOW THAT IT IS PROBABLY NOT BEST TO ASSOCIATE THE GIRL OF YOUR THEN DREAMS TO DROWNING/TUMORS/DRUGS/NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS.

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