leek

i don't know what to do with myself.

in my head it's so perfect...and then i have doubts, and i'm like "no, lee, perfect, remember?"

"oh yeeeeeeeeeeeah...perfect..."
and then i smile at myself.

and maybe it will be soon. i think about how short a time span it could be. a few months really isn't too far away. and i get excited. things haven't been this fresh in a logn time even though NOTHING'S EVEN THERE it's enough to make me soooooo happy and giggly. so much of that. i carry around her pictures with me. i dream about her. it feels so FUCKING GOOD. tomorrow i may ditch work and spend the day unpacking so i can find all our "stuff." and lay it out and look at it. and hope what i want to happens happens. love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love andi don't care who knows. I'll tell the girl i've been crushing on for a long time that she missed her chance, because i'm taken. even if i'm not, emotionally i am. no one else compares.

i hate when i'm the girl.