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OK kiddies this about sums up my mood for today1 Enjoy!

TITLE: Existential Blues (By Tom "T-Bone Stankus")


The elusive butterfly has just tiptoed past my door
My buddy likes the Yankees; he says "Hey, T-Bone, what's the score?"
I say, "Well, Reggie got 1 in 1 in 3, and 25 is 6 to 4."
Is a left-wing really pinko? Colonel Sanders, what a bore!
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this schizoid paranoia, or just existential blues?

The amenities of life have been chasing my soul,
And my mind is transcendental, and I'm losing all control,
And I'm sinking in the quagmire of illusion and Thoreau,
I cry out, "My name is T-Bone!" as a hound dog digs a hole.
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies, or just existential blues?

Sailing, sailing, what is illusion? What is tru-uth?
Sailing, sailing, over the existential blues.
God bless America, and Old Glory too!
May she always wave o'er us with the red, white, and existential blues!
Hey, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba,
Ba-be-de-ding-dong-existential blues.
Hey, you can do what you want but lay off my existential blues!
My blue suede existential blues!

I was on a quest!
To dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road again, doo-dah, doo-dah,
And I met these little people, little people
Little people all around me
Who looked up at me and said, "Hey, mister, are you tall?"
I said, "Yes, I'm tall, but who are you weird little wonders?"
Who looked up at me with their big, red, bloodshot eyes and said:
We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids
The lollipop kids,
We are the lollipop kids!
We'd like to welcome you to Munchkinland!
I said, "Hey, weird little wonders, I'm on a quest
To dream the impossible dream,
Walking down the road again, doo-dah, doo-dah,
Tell me, where do I go, who do I see?"
They said, "Slow down, mister, in order to proceed, one must to see THE WIZARD!"
I said, "THE WIZARD? Well, where does this wizard, old-wise-one, live?"
They said, "You see that big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill?"
I said, "Yes, I see that big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill."
"Well, there's a big, dark forest between you and the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill
And a little old lady on a Hoover vacuum going 'I'll get you, my little pretty, and your little dog, Toto, too!' ."
I don't even have a little dog, Toto.
Such predicaments I must forge ahead
To dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road again, doo-dah, doo-dah.
I said, "I can handle the little old lady, I can handle the forest
But the very strange road you're sending me down!
I've seen yellow stripes in the middle of the road before, kids,
But, uh, never quite that wide!"
All right, tighten your shorts and sing like the Duke.
Follow the yellow brick road (Come on)
Follow the yellow brick road (Everybody sing)
Follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow the yellow brick road
If ever a wonderful wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because,
Because of the wonderful things he does
La-la-la-la-la-la-la, ha-ha!
You're off to see the wizard
The wonderful Wizard of Oz!
Whoa, I got a little tired of
Walking down the road again, doo-dah, doo-dah.
I got a little tired of walking down this blinding yellow road
So pulled myself off to rest in this field of flowers,
And they smelled - Whoa - flowers smell pretty nice,
I think I'll just stretch out in this little field of

POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES! poppies!
(Cough)
Whoa, I'm having a strange dream, man!
But the flowers smell so good,
I'm getting pretty tired, and they smell so good
I'm just gonna stretch out again in this little field of

POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES!
OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!
Dorothy! Dorothy! Dorothy!
(SNIFFFFFFF)
DOROTHY! DOROTHY! DOROTHY!
(mumble, mumble)
Along came old man in an El Dorado II, screeched to a halt,
An old man with a big red nose
Toking a bottle of Yukon Jack
Strolled up to me and said, "Son."
I said, "Old man, don't bother me. POPPIES, MMMMMMMMM!"
He said, "T-Bone!"
I said, "Wait a minute, this old man knows my name, he must be THE WIZARD!"
It must be the Wizard
The Wizard of Oz
Why have you come to haunt me?
O, Wizard of Oz.
I said, "O, Wizard, old-wise-one, I've been on a quest
To dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road again, doo-dah, doo-dah
And I met these little people
We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids,
They said follow the yellow brick road
Follow, follow, follow
And I got tired
POPPIES! POPPIES! (etc.)
Lord, o lord, I've been through hell!"
He said, "Slow down, son, relax."
I said, "But, wizard, I have come so far to find the truth of life!"
He said, "Slow down, son, you've got me all wrong. You see, how can I put this to you. I've been sitting in this field for a
long time, myself, and I've come to find the only truth is here
in this bottle."
I said, "Wizard!"
He said, "No, truly, son. In fact, I'd rather have this bottle in
front of me than
A FRONTAL LOBOTOMY!"
How profound, Wizard!

Some girl with psychic power, she said, "T-Bone, what's your sign?"
I blink and answer, "Neon!" I thought I'd blow her mind.
She's reading Moby Dick by some fruitcake named Herman,
She's chomping on a knockwurst, was the duchess really German?
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this really Butte, Montana, or just existential blues?

Really Butte, Montana?
Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies?
Is this schizoid paranoia?

(Star Trek-like sound effects)
La-la-la-la-la-la-la, existential blu-uuu-uuues!