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le

galactic center at 26° sagittarius

SG Since 2002

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Sunday Apr 20, 2003

Apr 20, 2003
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i'm a little confused today. i think i have been depressed lately. maybe the time change over to daylight savings has fucked me up. i have been sleeping at the wrong times and not seeing people. it has been strangely satisfying tho. i start thinking i should call someone or deal with my bills and then i just get a storm cloud over my head like the count, and i scowl, and think, NO, I DONT WANT TO AND IM NOT GOING TO. as if something has been done to me.

i feel like i am 'waking up' a little tho. i go through these periods of.. absence. it's like a little depressive hibernation and i am not fully present for that time. then i 'wake up' and look back on the previous months/weeks/years and think, god, i was depressed huh?

today my person told me that i am more unhappy than happy. but he likes to say that things are Good or Bad. he is very boolean in that way. i think i am more neutral than anything else.

i also was reminded today that i am not funny, and general not that Fun to be around except in rare times. i play other roles besides Fun though. like, Intense Conversation About Spirituality at 4am. haha.

i have been craving fried tofu since i woke up (at 530am! cant sleep lately). i am going to rectify the situation now.

love
love
robot
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
estrada:
Some people like hanging around with me because I'm funny sometimes.

Then I go to sleep because it is fun.
Apr 21, 2003
newtronx:
some days are just like that. my personal view is that feelings, like time, are just liquid. happy and unhappy are labels for things that we don't get to quantify.

aaaaaaaaanyway, hope the fried tofu was yummy.
Apr 21, 2003

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