When I saw you at the grocery store
you were sharing a shopping cart with her
and I couldn't turn and run away
I didn't know what to say

You introduced us for the first time
and I had to look her in the eye
but you could not imagine my surprise
can't you see
you're leaving me
for an ugly girl

Does she talk about politics
and all the stuff that used to make me sick
does she smoke cigars and stay up late?
oh she's so great

Does she tell you what you want to hear
and I bet that she can grow a beard
I'd feel better thinking you were queer
it's not fair
I can't compare
to an ugly girl

ha ha ha
ha ha the jokes on me
I feel jealous and I feel mean
is she so nice that it makes up for her face
there's no way

Do you have to keep your eyes closed
do you have to keep the lights down low
oh I bet you wish you had a blindfold
can't you see
you're leaving me
for an ugly girl