so i started to dating a guy last year that i had dated two years ago. when we got back together he told me he was going to have a baby with a random chic. i accepted that cuz i know shit happens. anyway it has been a whole year and it has been a hard and trying year for me. i feel like i'm constantly on the outside looking in. there is this huge tug of war where my bf wants me to be involved and every time i get involved it's like he holds me me at arms length. it's like he wants me close but not to close. i have drama with the baby's mom and now the baby has taken to crying hysterically when hug my bf. she has even gons so far to smack me when i do. i know i shouldn't let a one year old make me feel sooo bad but she does. my feelings are hurt pretty bad

It is total bogus.
When it comes to the baby of your bf and the other woman using it to put pressure on him it is of course different but I would be more worried about that emotional distance.