lb

sometimes, i just dont know...when someone you love more then life may lose someone they love to a illness, you want to be there, hold them...even be their puncing bag if need be.....but when they say "you cant understand, both your grandparents are still alive" and throw your had off of them, you feel helpless,....they dont want to hear "it will be ok" they yell at you, make you feel like they want nothing to do with you......that was me tonight, and I KNOW that its mostly grief...and i accept that...but all is fun and laughs then i get told this bad news and all of a sudden im the bad guy....i hope im not coming off selfish here..im the furthest from, im upset cause i want to help and i cant...i get pushed away....i just dont know what to feel .....im scared for her...and love her and think that she hates me cause of things that are out of my control......we get married 10-8-06.....yea....we get married then.