lazygenius

ok so I'm in one of my pensive and pessimistic moods... bored and unenthused about life again, as usual.... nothing interesting... got "fabulously fired"/ mutually quit a month ago, so there's always that to stress about, and of course there's the Great BreakUp still looming over my head, and the man I still love is gone for about 7 months and I won't be able to contact him at all, and I have no desire to go out and meet other people, and I feel like I never will... I'm at another lull point again... feels like I'm in "limbo", preparing for things to finally get moving, but I usually feel like this, so not much has changed in regard to my "future"... I've basically been a recluse ever since I lost my job and I've made absolutely no effort to "re-enter" the world... I can feel myself gaining weight and losing motivation from lack of movement.... inertia.... I wish I could just play my X Box and go online all day and never have to leave the house... like Neo from the Matrix.... and by the way, I hate X-Mas... all the obligation and the stress to find that "perfect" gift for each member of my HUGE family... I'd rather just not get any gifts if it meant I didn't have to spend money I don't really have... blahhhhhhhh