lavinia

When I dream while I am asleep of two things will happen. I will encounter people I don't know in fictional settings and I will have an element of control or; my fears will get a hold of me and anything that my self-conscience is harboring will haunt me. When I wake up I will only remember bits and pieces of these dreams.

Last night I dreamt I was at a house that looked like a friend's place in East Vancouver but this house was on the edge of a city that backed on to a small forest. There was a party at this house. I was there CJ was there and a whole slew of friends that are in the independent film community here in Vancouver. The party was a lot of fun. Every one was drinking, dancing and having a lot of fun. CJ and myself go up to one of the bedrooms upstairs. There we begin to talk. There wasn't any sound coming from his mouth or mine. The strange thing was that the two of us were having an actual conversation.

Daylight appeared and the house was empty. All of a sudden I was in a bad mood and so was he. I was drunk and he was drunk and he had passed out cold on this bed. I was trying to get him to wake up. I shook him, pulled him and yelled at him. He told me that my voice was annoying him and to shut up. I told him that I had a bad feeling and that we had to leave and he just lies there on that bed sleeping. I got up off the bed and looked out the window. It was bright out-side and I saw a military looking truck coming up to what started to look like a desert road.

"Oh shit." I said to my self and I turned around and rushed over to the bed. All of a sudden CJ wasn't there sleeping on my bed any more. The man on the bed was my ex -Kelly. The man I was in an abusive relationship with for three years. I started to shake him to wake him up.
"Why don't you leave me the fuck alone!" He said,
"You are always nagging at me. Just shut up and let me fucking sleep.CUNT!

I started to cry and I could not believe that he was calling me those names. I started to walk out of the bedroom and I looked back again. Kelly was still on the bed and his right hand was over his eyes and it looked like he had a headache.

All of a sudden I am downstairs in the living room and the front door is to my left and there is a stretch of a wooden hallway before you get to it. The door blasts open and the men who come in are Members of the Taliban. They have their rifles in hand ready to going and shoot. I turn around and run back up the stairs. When I get to the room where Kelly is it's no longer Kelly it's CJ. He is still sound asleep start to scream and one of the men grabs me and carries me away in to another room and lied me down on a bed. I'm kicking this man for fear that he is going to rape me. He covers my mouth with his hand and I try to bite it.

I look at the open door way as I am trying to fight this man off waiting to escape and there I see CJ and he is walking out of the room. I blink and look again and it's Kelly. I am screaming and he just stands there. He looks at me with and his lips are in the shape of a smirk.
" I told you". He says and then he looks away and walks down the stairs.

I finally get the man off of me and I breakaway out of the bedroom run down the hall and reached the stairs. I run down the stairs and all of these military men are sitting around drinking beer. I go to the front door and a man is blocking it.
"Little girl you know you can't leave for two weeks. We have to keep you and they don't care." And then he smiles at me.

The dream changes. I am now in a film studio where people I know in the film industry are. They are rehearsing a play that I was supposed to be in. They all look at me and say, "You're late and you're replaced."

All of a sudden I am behind the studio and I am at one of the concession stand at second beach near English bay. I see another film person I know named Brendan.
" So how was it?" He asks,
"How was what?" I replied.

Then in a flash of light I am back in the house in the house. I am still standing in the door.

I woke up and the clock said 5:10 a.m.