laura_belle

what. a. fucking. weekend.

went out to the country to spend the weekend at a friend's place. we drank waayyy too much and decided to set off some fireworks that we had purchased earlier that day. and no, no one was hurt, but my dog got very spooked and ran off.

i didn't notice at first, but after a while we started looking for her, assuming that she was just hiding in the bushes. but no. we wandered around for hours calling her name, even driving around to see if she had gotten hit by a car or attacked by coyotes. i was fucking hysterical. anyone who knows me and knows my dog knows how much that dog means to me.

my boy was there and he put up with my sobbing and hysterical rantings and just held me and told me that everything was going to be ok. what a trooper. (geez. my eyes are welling up just typing this.)

eventually i went to bed (passed out on a couch) knowing for sure that my dog was dead. my dreams were all about finding my dog. and when i woke up and realized that she was still gone, i'd break into a fresh bout of sobbing.

everyone was great. everyone helped out. trying to find her, trying to keep me from going off the deep end. i couldn't be more grateful for the people who were there that night.

i woke up the next morning feeling like i had the shit beat out of me. we continued to look for her. nothing. then out host left to go check the crops. about 20 minutes later and came back. he yelled from the front door.
"is laura there?"
"i'm here."
"umm...i have some bad news."
"oh. fuck. no!!!"
"your dog left muddy footprints in my truck."
"wait....what?"
"i found her."

i ran outside and there she was, in the back of the truck. covered in burrs and grass, muddy as all fuck, but happy as a clam. i thought i was going to throw up or pass out or cry. so i threw my arms around my thoroughly amused host and thanked him profusely. he seemed mildly put off by this, so i just hugged my boy. then i hugged missy, not caring that she was covered in muck.

i haven't had a full night's sleep since then, knowing how close i came to losing her. my biggest fear was that she had died alone. that i wouldn't be able to be with her for her last moments. i know that someday i'm going to have to say goodbye, but i hope it's not like that. not knowing where she went, or what happened to her.

this whole weekends events have made me wonder if there really is something, or someone out there, keeping an eye on things. the great pie in the sky...but that's a whole different story.

"Thank heaven for you
And the way you take care of me
You hide my secret so well
Thank heaven for you"

-esthero