laura_belle

i shouldn't still be here.

every day that i stay here, i just feel my resentment growing. i should've left over a year ago, but a silly boy with blue eyes and long hair sucked me in and made me believe that he loved me. there really isn't anything that holds me to saskatoon. i've made some great memories here and formed some even greater friendships, but in my mind, nothing really compares to my home.

the last time i visited, it took all of my strength to get back on that bus and come back here. i sat with my face pressed against the cold glass with the same song played on repeat and forced myself not to cry. i feel so at home in winnipeg. so at ease. here, i feel out of place. like i'm always hearing a punchline, but missing the joke. i love winnipeg. i love it like an exasperating friend. everytime i think i feel like i could move on, or stay here, it creeps out from the hidden corners of my mind and haunts my dreams.

and it's not just the city, it's the people. my friends. the people i love. they have carved their names into the palms of my hands so i can never forget them.

i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.

where do you live?
love is a place
where are you from
she said, ask yourself
ask anyone,
what's holding up her face?
nothing but blue skies
passageways the mind's eye
contemplates.