latchbeam

I lost part of my "Floridians" commentary. I will post it tomorrow. This one by J. Tango (A Socially Abrasive writer) will have to tide you over...

Cream Cheese

Holy fucking shit with the different types of cream cheese out there. Somehow when I wasn't looking, cream cheese became a staple food in our society. I'm not complaining, mind you. I enjoy a good party dip as much as the next guy. But really, cream cheese is much more than that. You can eat it sliced, like other cheeses. You can put chunks of it in a salad, like those crazy japanese. You can make a burning bush, cream cheese clam fluffs, chocolate philly nuggets, cherry tricorns...the list goes on and on. And of course you can use it as a spread. What office breakfast is complete without bagels and cream cheese? But be careful. Let's say it's Bob's turn to buy bagels for the office. It's very important for Bob to know that he can't just bring regular cream cheese, or he's going to look like a jackass. He definitely has to bring the regular stuff, but he also has to buy the whipped light garden vegetable, the creamy garlic and herb, the no fat strawberry, the kind that's speckled with dill, and of course your soy cream cheese for our lactose intolerant brethren. Even if there are only 4 people in Bob's office, this must be done. Cream cheese selection has put a status symbol on the buyer of the office bagels. Know what you're doing. That's all I'm saying.
-by Jimmy Tango