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latchbeam

Somewhere in Ohio, when I'm not on the road

Member Since 2004

Followers 30 Following 30

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Saturday Dec 18, 2004

Dec 18, 2004
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I caught myself working on a Saturday again... I stopped when I realized there was a football game coming on.

I have had more problems with my socks this week... more than usual. I have always been extremely obsessive about my socks (one of the main characteristics of a serial killer). I think I have about 50 pairs of plain black socks. The other socks that have patterns are the ones giving me problems... I lost 3 individual socks when I did my laundry this past week. The funny thing is, I don't like even like them. Any chance I get to NOT wear them, I take advantage of it.

In honor of my miserable, constant battle, which is internal and external... I give you the these words:

Socks

There is nothing in this great, mysterious world that confuses me and pisses me off more than disappearing socks! Brown, black, white, gray, plaid... It doesn't matter. At least one of the pair almost always, eventually ends up missing. Where do they go? I do not know for sure, but I do have a couple of theories concerning our "missing" socks. My first theory is called "The Sock Monster Theory." I believe there is an unidentified creature of some type (perhaps similar to the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot in how it avoids being seen or caught by humans, but much smaller in size) that lives in the washing machine, the dryer, and the sock drawer. Thus living in such prime locations, it simply feeds (and thrives) on our socks. My other theory is that aliens are stealing them and using them to fuel their UFO's. If you sit back and think about it, as long as there have been socks, there have been sitings of UFO's. Either way, I want this sock stealing fiasco to stop right now.

by Latch Beam
THE SOCIALLY ABRASIVE
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
missbernie:
oh fooseball. it's just another excuse for me to drink!
Dec 19, 2004
doctashock:
I can never keep my socks together either.
Dec 20, 2004

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