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lastserenade

Orlando

Member Since 2003

Followers 353 Following 488

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Monday Oct 24, 2011

Oct 23, 2011
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-my legal issues continue(the fucker) but now it's just getting sad, but we fight
-work is still ok I guess, doing good sales-wise(but I'm not exactly getting a cut of that)
-my PT says my shoulder strength and range of motion have improved greatly, working towards full strength
-finally in a more consistent workout schedule, helping the body thing
-school moved to a new building this week, only a semester and a half left
-sort of severing ties with a girl I was interested in(seriously it's for the best)
-came across a girl I went to grade school with on FB, she was my first goth girl crush
-making plans for December, I'll have only one class and therefore the potential for free time

On a final note, last night I stayed up til almost 4am reading a book called "Cast Member Confidential"(yeah and I was up just after 8 surprisingly awake". The book details a photographer/skater who at 29 moves to Orlando to work at Disney World when his life is falling apart at the seams. The book was compelling and heart breaking at times, I could only help feeling the disappointment the writer would feel at times. The details of depravity mirrored some thoughts I had pondered these past couple years. You know that inherent urge to run away and spend a year or so living a life of frivolity as a reaction to the world around me(like everyone I know dropping their dream-so to speak-to live the domestic life). It also made me think of my last time at that park, when I was 17 and about to finish HS and move on to my new life in Savannah(also....didn't quite go how I'd hoped). It really is a place of bizarre optimism, but I see where these stories lie. They are no different than the frisky and flirtatious cast parties often had in HS drama(although much more sex and drugs, naturally I suppose). There is that sort of HS feeling you get in that kind of crowd, the fraternizing and living for more than a paycheck and mortgage(it was clear the money wasn't that good). Somehow despite the ugly side it was still alluring and captivating. Maybe because where I'm at in life right now isn't what I hoped and I'm not ready to settle for the first person that'd take a ring from me and pop some kids out. It has given me an odd sense of drive to move forward and make the coming years better. To really achieve a sense of happiness that isn't the same thing everyone expects it to be. I honestly have no fucking clue what this means at times, but I guess we'll see.......



I figured I'd post this, one of my favorite songs of the year(and I'm trying to shake the memories of when I first listened to it)....

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