lastserenade

I've finally starting acknowledging that the majority of my dreams are because I miss Savannah and the life I had when I was in college there. Sure it had some downsides(no shows come to town, didn't have a car, the immense stress of school), but there were some great days somewhere in between all of that. I tried not to think about it until I saw a girl I know(younger) who went to my current school and is now at a similar art college in Columbus(where I go yearly for Rock On The Range, and also the home of "The" Ohio State"), which I'm sure combines the "charms"(good and bad) of an art school with one of the biggest collegiate institutions(football, parties, what have you). Truthfully that aspect is more foreign to me, and maybe that's why it's enticing. Truthfully much of this stems from my issues with the dating world and the current state of most of my friends(married, children, etc.). Now 4 years later(can't believe that) it's still a shock after coming from a culture where age didn't matter everyone was out at bars, in classes, getting pierced and tattooed. It was just a different lifestyle with so many different people. To be perfectly honest I also miss that feeling I had early on there where really it felt like everyday I was falling in love with someone new(you'd look and see some new beautiful girl in your sights, now NONE of those panned out, but back then I had optimism). Also this seems to be why dating here doesn't work for me, I miss when everyone was some kind of creative type looking to explore and express(not someone looking to be wed with kids by 22 settling into the picket fence lifestyle). I mean the excitement I had the first week or so of college in Savannah was one of the happiest of my life. Sometimes I worry if I'm going to have those feelings again. I mean I'm almost done with this school and my dept. head has been trying to get me working with local companies but also maybe New York. That would be fine and all, but if I had a job, none of this broke in NY nonsense(just seems like a bad idea, plus I don't think I fit in with that crowd). Never the less my dreams are constantly bombarded with images of the south, and stumbling into a class with drawings(possibly done while hungover) while sporting a slew of body jewelry and gazing at the girls in their assorted attire(fashion majors, go figure right?). I could walk all through town with headphones on and that was a good day. It definitely makes me a little crazy at times.


So yeah, kind of hoping finishing up with this degree will point me to some kind of solution, then I can go back to the nonsensical dreams normal people have.