lastserenade

So today I bid a farewell to my car, a 1991 Chevy Cavalier. My sister got the car 12 years ago and about 4 years ago when she got a new one it was bestowed upon me. The car was old, falling about, and cost a pretty penny at times, but I am going to miss it. I actually got a little depressed leaving the dealership where we sold it(I just hate leaving things behind sometimes-especially after all of those years, I mean that car was like a part of my adolescence). I did get a used 2003 Cavalier(which is a beautiful car), but it will take some time before Ive made it my own so to speak. Those kind of things just dont happen overnight after all(hopefully after a few late night drives cranking music itll feel just as confortable). Maybe itll be a sign of better things to come.

I have also found myself once again turning down "hanging out and drinking" for other activities(this time around running some errands with my Dad which led to hitting up Target and Borders-I dig both places alot and was especially loving the green tea lattes at Borders). It reminded me of when I was in High School, when most kids were getting drunk and high at someones house and throwing their tongues errantly around the room, I was making long walks(which I need to do again, that really kept me healthy) all over the greater Bucks area-sometimes aimlessly wandering for hours-although always back to some spot I could be picked up at-or dropped off home by a friend-by around midnight so I could listen to metal on the radio. Those times may not have been epic or anything, but I knew how to have a good time without plowing through a bar tab. I really hate the way some of the people I know have gotten. Really this has led to me wanting to move even more, because I know folks in NY who still go out and do things, I mean I hate the fact that so many people I know just go "well fuck Ill get married and just hang out the rest of my life"(this isnt literal, but you get the idea). I mean the whole thing is just maddening to me, I met a girl back in April who was engaged(which on my end was a bummer, because she was cool to hang out with and just stunning), well now not only is she no longer engaged, but she's single(which goes to show sometimes jumping into things is a horrible idea). I don't know what to make of this development, but Id be lying if I said I was suprised by it. It is things like this that make me really want another change of scenery, well, that and the fact that the girls here havent exactly been kind to me. So it seems more evident that it just isnt working here.

On that note Im starting to look at jobs again, throwing the resume' out there, and hopefully attending more art oriented events(although it seems like everyone I know is more interested in sitting around with their girlfriends/boyfriends/fiances/spouses-you get the idea-while downing a case of Miller Lite and watching the same tired movies over and over). So we shall see how that goes, hopefully shit comes together a little better than it has so far, its kinda sucked lately. But, such is life....