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lastserenade

Orlando

Member Since 2003

Followers 353 Following 488

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Tuesday Jan 13, 2009

Jan 13, 2009
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If youre reading please know that I dont mean or want to hurt you, I just have to stand by my belief that this was not the best choice given the situation, and I will always stand by that


some people are supersticious, I am one of them, well at times

this weekend did(may still) have potential to be great:
-I am seeing 2 of my all time favorite bands(Metallica and Machine Head)
-The Eagles need to win only one more game to once again be in the Super Bowl


now heres the thing, the last time I saw Metallica was November of 2004, and the last time the Eagles were in the Super Bowl was Feb 2005, following these 2 events was the formation of what was basically the darkest period of my life, a point where honestly there was a very good chance I was going to die from alcohol poisoning(and yes, it was involving my fear of failure and my failures with relationships) it was the lowest I had ever been and every day Im still recovering from it, trying as hard as I can to never sink that low(although lately Ive had many difficult nights that hinted at it)

and honestly this in mind I really hope that the Eagles can win it, maybe that will undue the black cloud that has been over me for 4 years, one that has made me resentful and calloused at times



really I still dont know what to do with myself, my friends have basically done what they think helps(badmouth her and tell me to look at dating sites, neither makes me feel better by any means and while Im glad they want to help I dont appreciate those methods)

I really just would like to be important in someones life again
ms_tee:
Okay seriously, this isn't my style (getting this out online/in public) but I have to let you know:

Posting incesently about the fact that your friends now badmouth me is immature because you're obviously using it as a tactic to try to upset me. What upsets me is the fact that you're being like this and dragging it out instead of letting yourself be happy, even a little bit. Also, the search for pity is obviously another ploy for my attention. I told you that you were, and are, important to me. Therefor, this can end one of two ways: either knock this off and let yourself feel sunny again, or continue making yourself miserable and lose the chance of me ever trying to keep in contact with you again.

Sorry to do it this way, I just don't know how else to get you to listen to me.
Jan 14, 2009
i_am_over_this:
superstition is for wusses...

i find that a lot of guys bad mouth ex's & most of the time its not true just tell them to stfu

& you will feel happy when u are ready because im sure you want to but its just not happening its not something to can just turn on & off maybe some one should just let you be & know that you are trying to heal & im sure when you are good & ready maybe friendship can be had but until then they should back off i know for me it just never helps. especially since you struggle with depression... say no to the hooch! enjoy the music... but sadly im a giants fan so i hope the eagles lose hahahaha

love
Jan 14, 2009

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