lastbadger

I feel safe here. I'm not sure why. I think maybe it's because i've said some of the wierdest shit on these pages and have never been retaliated against to harshly. Or maybe it's because my crude attempts at being amazing have been met with some measure of acceptance. Having said that I miss when I could spend more time here. I feel as if the times I've spent searching myself and others here has always yeilded something.

I want love. I know that it's sort of a bitch sort of thing to admit publicly. but as I've said before I feel safe here. It's weird I've always wanted like a real love. Family and forever type of shit. But everytime I get close I come up with this list of why now isn't the right time. All the meanwhile I travel through this life amazed at the beauty that surrounds me and wonder "When Lord, when will it be my time?

" I'm sorrrowfully afraid that I'll always have a reason why its not the right time, The most often excuse is my financial situation. I mean "if you can't support a medallion then you can't support a family" right? I also like to use the excuse that I don't want to drag anyone into my family situation. If I have such a hard time dealing with the responsabilities of my parents and siblins and cousins and neices than how can I expect anyone else to? Point is though that they're all just excsuses for my own fear of failure, and insecurities.

I so very badly want to have a favorite shirt once again. how about you?