lastbadger

Wow it's been some time since I updated here. I found a park yesterday. That made me feel really good. I had missed the parks in Michigan alot.
Had a call with my mom and my brothers last night. My stepdad is in the hospital again. They say if he survives he'll have to have a tracheotomy. I don't know what to think though because they have told us "He's gonna die", like at least three times in the last year. Oh hell I need to quit smoking. I want to quit I just don't know how. I'm not really known for having a great sense of self control
If he dies the question has been proposed "Will I come home?" My knee jerk reaction is that yes, I need to help take care of my mom. Talking to my brother last night though he presented the argument that running to my moms rescue might not be what she needs to get better. You see my mom has had a stroke and a heartattack in the last four years. She is extremely overweight, and has diabetes. Despite this she still refuses to eat better. She still buys boxes of donuts when she goes shopping. Ice cream is like a weekly event in our house as is "Pizza & Video" nights. Not that these things in of themselves are bad but combined with the fact that since her stroke she has led the most sedintary life possible. Spending days on end sleeping and watching television. My mom is a VERY strong willed woman. And she is of the habit of enforcing that will on others. I on the other hand easily cave in to her demands. My brother Mark thinks that if I come back I will just continue to enable her to lead this self destructive lifestyle she has created. Oh yeah she doesn't think its destructive because "Jesus will heal her."
Hmmm..... Wonder how I lost my faith?

Not to leave on a down note. Blackalicious's album Blazing Arrow is really good. I'm also excited to listen to the albums I just got in the mail yesterday from average_joe
PROBOT!!!!