Offered to work a double today, I didn't realize how dead we are during the day lol. I'm falling asleep standing up. And I'm in a weird mood today. This guy I started to hang out with freaked out on me between last night and this morning. Wanting nothing to do with me anymore after only knowing me for a month. I just got out of a relationship with Zac and before him I was in a relationship with Troy, and right before that I was in a relationship with Eric. Its just been one boyfriend after another for the past 4-5 years and I'm Just not in a place to be jumping right into a new one. Nor do I want to start something new with someone right before I try to leave for Colorado. I have been telling him since we met that I wasn't going to jump into this and that I needed space and to do my own thing for a while. He told me he understood and that I was single and could do whatever I want. Not that I really want to be hooking up with anyone, I have no sex drive as of lately. I did hook up with this boy I used to see and he apparently found out but didn't tell me, was just mad at me. So last night when he was upset I apologized and told him what happened. I've straight up lied about things like this in the past. But I've been working on breaking cycles and habits And trying to be a better person. Telling the truth and trying to be a good person always blows up in my face. I'm still always the Asshole. Whatever. Things will fall the way they are supposed to. All I can do is let go and go with the flow. I have whisky And he and my dad are the only men I need.
