lashes

Ok, so what the fuck? How am I not even tired? Looks like that plan of staying awake all day backfired. Granted I got 3 hours kip in the afternoon in the end but considering I haven't slept since Friday you'd think I'd be shattered by now. What am I? Some kind of owl in human disguise or something? Maybe a vampire... I prefer the sound of that. Seriously though.. I have tried to sleep; I turned the laptop off and everything about an hour ago, but nothing. Just tossing and turning and awake as ya like. I still daren't take my sleeping pills yet. I know one won't do any harm but just the thought of the taste of them reminds me of that awful journey in the ambulance. I could still taste them well into Monday night as well. I suppose it's a good thing I've now destroyed any want for sleeping pills - it's not good to get so dependent on them. My family and boyfriend have been so supportive the last couple of days and it's really helped. I'm back on my medication and they're helping too. I haven't told any of my friends what I did - I don't really want to make it public knowledge - I don't want people feeling sorry for me and I just generally don't want everyone knowing about it. If it got out to the wrong people or people not close to me then it could encourage catty remarks or something. Anyways, I just kinda came on here to write some shit cos it normally helps me to sleep when I clear my head of shit. I'll be up in 3 hours so I can get a lift into town with my Mum when she goes. We're both gonna go our seperate ways and do the dreaded christmas shopping; I'm gonna treat her to lunch though in my favourite little vegetarian place to eat. Anyways! Fuck! Ramble ramble ramble! Ciao!