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lashes

Member Since 2008

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Thursday Nov 13, 2008

Nov 13, 2008
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Ok. So here's a picture I took last night (well, Wenesday night) - and one of the reasons I'm gonna be T-total until my birthday (23rd December).



It doesn't look as bad as I suspected it would today. I thought I'd have a black eye - hell, it sure feels like I should have. It's just swollen and a bit yellowy-grey. My head is the most painful though - I sure hit it hard. My knee is fucked too. I had to go into work tonight (Thursday.. whatever, it's past midnight but it's still Thursday to me). It was probably one of the most difficult shifts I've ever worked. I was so forgetful and confused and never really had a proper grasp of what was going on. But yeah... I've been such a fuck up recently and really been letting myself down health wise. I've got to start looking after myself better before it's too late or something happens. I've got a lot of crap I need to get out of my system - prescription drugs, illegal drugs, imported drugs I don't even know what they are.. and then of course there's the alcohol and tobacco. I'm a fucking idiot to be honest and this has to stop, it really does. I know it sounds like I'm just beating myself up about everything, but it's true. It's no wonder I've been so depressed recently with the torture I've been doing to my mind and body - especially mind. I was really scared last night - I was worried I'd done some serious damage and didn't know about it. I always think the worst, I can't help it. I couldn't help but think about Kirsty either - how she suddenly passed away with no warning signs. Ahh see, now I'm scaring myself again. The point is, I have to start looking after myself better If I want to be happy and healthy and live a long life... which I certainly do! I know I sometimes get horrible thoughts but I sure as hell really do want to live a long and fulfilling life - I don't just want to survive. Fuck, starting to ramble, so I'm out. I think you all get my point. Not like it matters if anyone reads this anyway - I only really write stuff here for my own benefit I guess... for somewhere to write - and other people's opinions and insights are often helpful - or just nice to hear.



My mate uploaded this old pic of me onto Facebook today. I say old, it's only really about 6 months old. I miss my long hair. It's certainly taking it's time to grow back. And when it does.... I'm never cutting it short ever again!!



VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
dark_cabal:
Ouch! blackeyed
That looks like it hurt some.
I'll add my two cents, keep track of how many steps there are when going up and down. wink
Nov 17, 2008
monroe:
What happened???
Nov 18, 2008

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