I read Bitch PhD's article today and had an immediate, violent and enduring reaction. In her piece she warned readers not to view the embedded video and though it was disturbing in a way I'm glad I ignored that piece of advice. I think I might not have had the reaction and ended up caring about the issue as much as I do now if I hadn't watched that video
It made me so angry and sickened me. II don't really know what to say or where to start- any person who needs to physically and verbally abuse someone/anyone to feel dominant and/or strong is, at the heart of it, an infinitely weak person and has relinquished their humanity. I have a temper and often make incorrect assumptions about other people's behavior, and I know that I am quick to anger especially when I assume that someone close to me has wronged me. I am only capable of truly expressing that anger to one person and yet I have never/would never raise a hand to her (or anyone else) or even verbally abused her. I can't even call people names. Don't get me wrong- I'm not a saint, and when I'm mad, I'll curse you up a mountain and down a valley. However, some years ago I realized that my past was filled with things I'd said that I could never take back. I learnt to label people's behavior rather than to make personal slurs, to frame even those value judgements as my own and not statements of (supposedly) unassailable fact.
It made me sick and worried for the two women in my life for whom I care the most. I phoned my ex and in my own bumbling, rambling way told her that if anyone ever hurt her, that I would act immediaely and without compulsion to protect her. Luckily, despite the fact that we're broken up, my ex knows me well and knows she can trust me completely in this regard. She can rely on my help, my support and my action and perhaps it is a sign of the surety of my character that she accepted this without question.
I phoned up my friend R and left a message. I can only hope she took it coming from the place that I intended, one where I really care for her. She doesn't know me as well and may not understand where this is coming from. I probably sounded like a sentimental fool on the message and she probably thinks I'm a condescending chauvinist prick, but I hope the message I wanted to send got through. Set in stone- if anyone hurts you, my first instinct is to protect you and my second is to make them go away by whatever means necessary.
Probably being melodramatic, but I'm wound up for action now- SG posters have suggested some strategies and I intend to follow through.
It made me so angry and sickened me. II don't really know what to say or where to start- any person who needs to physically and verbally abuse someone/anyone to feel dominant and/or strong is, at the heart of it, an infinitely weak person and has relinquished their humanity. I have a temper and often make incorrect assumptions about other people's behavior, and I know that I am quick to anger especially when I assume that someone close to me has wronged me. I am only capable of truly expressing that anger to one person and yet I have never/would never raise a hand to her (or anyone else) or even verbally abused her. I can't even call people names. Don't get me wrong- I'm not a saint, and when I'm mad, I'll curse you up a mountain and down a valley. However, some years ago I realized that my past was filled with things I'd said that I could never take back. I learnt to label people's behavior rather than to make personal slurs, to frame even those value judgements as my own and not statements of (supposedly) unassailable fact.
It made me sick and worried for the two women in my life for whom I care the most. I phoned my ex and in my own bumbling, rambling way told her that if anyone ever hurt her, that I would act immediaely and without compulsion to protect her. Luckily, despite the fact that we're broken up, my ex knows me well and knows she can trust me completely in this regard. She can rely on my help, my support and my action and perhaps it is a sign of the surety of my character that she accepted this without question.
I phoned up my friend R and left a message. I can only hope she took it coming from the place that I intended, one where I really care for her. She doesn't know me as well and may not understand where this is coming from. I probably sounded like a sentimental fool on the message and she probably thinks I'm a condescending chauvinist prick, but I hope the message I wanted to send got through. Set in stone- if anyone hurts you, my first instinct is to protect you and my second is to make them go away by whatever means necessary.
Probably being melodramatic, but I'm wound up for action now- SG posters have suggested some strategies and I intend to follow through.