this is all taken from my diaryland diary:
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well i have been avoiding writing anything in my diaryland diary just b/c i know who reads it and it is so hard to figure out what to say to make everyone happy. but i am really tired of tiptoeing around everything. it isn't fair to me. so the question is...do i continue not writing anything, do i make my entries private, or do i just write dammit? well i will just write. at least tonight. i have had too many cups of coffee at waffle house tonight to worry about everyone else. speaking of waffle house: tonight i had band practice which went well. it is nice to have carson back in town from hawaii b/c practice is so much more comfortable without matt there....for some reason i clam up around him. he is one of those really really punk rock kind of guys and is kind of intimidating. plus, i don't really like the way he talks to rachael sometimes. i know carson doesn't either. but practice went well.....we changed "The Secret Pink" to where I play an octave higher so now i kind of sound like a guitar instead of a bass. that is going to take some getting used to. "The Secret Pink" is actually the first song that we ever wrote. After that Tori took me to Wafflehouse to meet some of her friends. She doesn't invite me very often to hang out with her friends. She says that its just b/c they all smoke lots of pot and since I don't smoke it would make the uncomfortable....i don't believe that to entirely be the truth. Anyways, I got to meet this guy Chris tonight which is this really cute emo looking boy and we talked about religion and Kerouac all night. I enjoyed him immensely. is that how you spell immensely? probably not.
what irritates me beyond belief is dustin otey. i have avoided venting about this and getting upset but i am tired of it. i have not dated anyone since we broke up. i am trying to move on but it really is hard to move on completely when you spend every waking moment with someone and really honestly plan to spend the rest of your life with them. we have mutual friends and my roommates all hang out with him so i don't ever say anything bad about him or bring him up at all just out of respect for their friendships....but he is dating...and has been for a while. what is up with that??? supposivly he talks so much about missing me that Mike doesn't even want to hang out with him anymore but yet he is dating??? that just isn't very consistent. i am tired of tiptoeing around him when he does stuff like just show up at my band practice last week just to refuse to look me in the eye. was he just trying to make me uncomfortable? b/c it worked.
the good that has come out of all of this emotion that i have been having lately is i have been painting. there was a long time that my art was solely devoted to my photography but now that i am twitterpated with this guy...i have begun painting again. i am trying to not be to clingy or obvious about my crush to him. i have to stop myself from going by his work every day or calling him everyday. i just can't help it. i get retarded and giggly every time me Mike and HarmonyRaven talk about him. I don't know if he knows that I like him. he has to know. if he doesn't he is just in denial. on wednesday we are kind of doing this double date thing with Mike and HarmonyRaven. i am grilling hamburgers and we are going to play hero clix but i don't know if he is going to put two and two together....Mike & HarmonyRaven.....Molly & Crush. oh well. he is so timid and unreadable that i can't tell if he likes me or not. but i guess the chase is half the fun right? but i have to work so hard not to harrass him to death b/c i get so excited and want to see him. crushes are fun and excrutiating at the same time.
me and HarmonyRaven are shooting my first Suicide Girl set on August 21st. I have been working out like crazy ever since i got accepted to be a sg. i am really nervous about it just b/c if this set doesn't get accepted then you have to wait three months to submit another one. i was going to do a them with me having a gun but then there was just a gun set go up....if i can find a bow and arrow then we will change it to that......i will just have to wait and see. i have my whole outfit though...including the fedora. man i am excited. we were going to get the set done already but we had to put it off for various reasons. Saturday August 21st is a defenite though. man i can't spell tonight.
by the way...books on tape are fucking fantastic when you are working out.
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By the way, go tell Jem that she is the most rockiness person in the world! she needs smiles.
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well i have been avoiding writing anything in my diaryland diary just b/c i know who reads it and it is so hard to figure out what to say to make everyone happy. but i am really tired of tiptoeing around everything. it isn't fair to me. so the question is...do i continue not writing anything, do i make my entries private, or do i just write dammit? well i will just write. at least tonight. i have had too many cups of coffee at waffle house tonight to worry about everyone else. speaking of waffle house: tonight i had band practice which went well. it is nice to have carson back in town from hawaii b/c practice is so much more comfortable without matt there....for some reason i clam up around him. he is one of those really really punk rock kind of guys and is kind of intimidating. plus, i don't really like the way he talks to rachael sometimes. i know carson doesn't either. but practice went well.....we changed "The Secret Pink" to where I play an octave higher so now i kind of sound like a guitar instead of a bass. that is going to take some getting used to. "The Secret Pink" is actually the first song that we ever wrote. After that Tori took me to Wafflehouse to meet some of her friends. She doesn't invite me very often to hang out with her friends. She says that its just b/c they all smoke lots of pot and since I don't smoke it would make the uncomfortable....i don't believe that to entirely be the truth. Anyways, I got to meet this guy Chris tonight which is this really cute emo looking boy and we talked about religion and Kerouac all night. I enjoyed him immensely. is that how you spell immensely? probably not.
what irritates me beyond belief is dustin otey. i have avoided venting about this and getting upset but i am tired of it. i have not dated anyone since we broke up. i am trying to move on but it really is hard to move on completely when you spend every waking moment with someone and really honestly plan to spend the rest of your life with them. we have mutual friends and my roommates all hang out with him so i don't ever say anything bad about him or bring him up at all just out of respect for their friendships....but he is dating...and has been for a while. what is up with that??? supposivly he talks so much about missing me that Mike doesn't even want to hang out with him anymore but yet he is dating??? that just isn't very consistent. i am tired of tiptoeing around him when he does stuff like just show up at my band practice last week just to refuse to look me in the eye. was he just trying to make me uncomfortable? b/c it worked.
the good that has come out of all of this emotion that i have been having lately is i have been painting. there was a long time that my art was solely devoted to my photography but now that i am twitterpated with this guy...i have begun painting again. i am trying to not be to clingy or obvious about my crush to him. i have to stop myself from going by his work every day or calling him everyday. i just can't help it. i get retarded and giggly every time me Mike and HarmonyRaven talk about him. I don't know if he knows that I like him. he has to know. if he doesn't he is just in denial. on wednesday we are kind of doing this double date thing with Mike and HarmonyRaven. i am grilling hamburgers and we are going to play hero clix but i don't know if he is going to put two and two together....Mike & HarmonyRaven.....Molly & Crush. oh well. he is so timid and unreadable that i can't tell if he likes me or not. but i guess the chase is half the fun right? but i have to work so hard not to harrass him to death b/c i get so excited and want to see him. crushes are fun and excrutiating at the same time.
me and HarmonyRaven are shooting my first Suicide Girl set on August 21st. I have been working out like crazy ever since i got accepted to be a sg. i am really nervous about it just b/c if this set doesn't get accepted then you have to wait three months to submit another one. i was going to do a them with me having a gun but then there was just a gun set go up....if i can find a bow and arrow then we will change it to that......i will just have to wait and see. i have my whole outfit though...including the fedora. man i am excited. we were going to get the set done already but we had to put it off for various reasons. Saturday August 21st is a defenite though. man i can't spell tonight.
by the way...books on tape are fucking fantastic when you are working out.
>
>
By the way, go tell Jem that she is the most rockiness person in the world! she needs smiles.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
One of my closest friends still pines after his last girlfriend, so much so that he moved back across the country to try to get together. However, that doesn't stop him from dating. If anything, I think he's artificially aggressive in going after women. As far as my friend is concerned it's not inconsistency, it's a way of trying to cope or move on.
Good luck on the shoot and the double date. The whole not-trying-to-be-too-excited thing is tons of fun.
The best of luck with your shoot! I'm sure it will be wonderful.