So, February is the hardest month for me. My birthday is on the 6th, I get anxiety. Probably a ridiculous thing to most, but as an extrovert I usually hold a party. "Why" you cry, as I've just said it's hard. Really, it's to take away from it by seeing all my friends and remembering I'm not a failure. I'm fortunate enough to be with a girl who, although a lot younger, has a birthday 12 days after mine. The only good thing in my worst month.
This year was extremely tough. The first time in Australia that at an average of 45 degrees daily, I realised it was too hot for me. Back home in Scotland, one of my oldest and best friends died on the 5th February this time last year. With time zones as they are, although it's not a date I can forget (or news I could not delete), I got the tributes for Scot on my birthday morning. Life can be pain.
Today was my Dads birthday. After a very short period of illness he died on the 31st March last year. He was a ships captain, an angry tough man. I loved him and was back home at his bedside when it happened. Today has been hard.
My girl looked after me. We saw Trainspotting 2 in George St, Sydney. My home in Scotland is George St, so there was a smile on my face.
I wrote these posts as catharsis. If people read them, great. It's confessional for a non-catholic, non religious punk.
So now you know why The Smiths are my favourite band. I live heavy, angry music. However, as an anxious, nervous person that presents themselves as anything but, lonely sad lyrics are easily to relate to.