laphroaig

Shit day today......Im currently working in a bakery, alledgedly as an assistant manager, but I feel like a general dogsbody. Im working betweew 9-12 hour shifts, starting at 6.30am most mornings and sometimes working until 7pm. Breaks are irregular. I usually, not always, get a 30 minute lunch hour where I sit in the park round from the bakery, and chill. Today I didnt get this. I worked 9 1/2 solid hours without a break. There were only two of us on, and the woman I was working with - who cant train me in the job because she is not permanent, Smacked her head and started bleeding. I made her sit down, got her a milky tea and told her we were shutting the shop. She told me we couldnt. So I worked 3 hours on my own in a shop I dont really know. It sucked.....Very hot and I havent been eating much lately, but my appetite was raging today....I kept wanting to eat the steak slices.....how I didnt I dont know....Oh and the great thing was, up til 2pm there were 5 of us on. We had been told yesterday that we could wear our own clothes, so I came in wearing a pixies t shirt and baggie trousers. Everyone else forgot, so I looked like some sort of 'special' work experience dude...was totally humiliating! Ok if your 14!

Ive done a lot this week, went out with friends Tuesday, went to a mad 'conversation cafe' night with strangers last night and meeting my Irish Friend Naomi tomorrow night for a picnic on the beach, Im just mentally and physically exhausted now though. I have to find a new room by next Friday, and I have viewings over the weekend. Im not pessamistic, but if I dont get somewhere by Tuesday, I feel like throwing the towel in and heading on somewhere...Doubt it will be back to Scotland, but at the same time there is a network of people for me there....I dont have that here yet...Im sure the next few days will turn around for me...its just a different type of low.

I guess Im just having a rant tonight....i put a comment on Facebook and my friends started taking the piss...as they would face to face, thats how we (and most people I guess) communicate....I took a strop...I dont know what the fuck is wrong with me sometimes at the moment....

I sent an email to my ex on Tuesday, just saying why I moved out, where I was staying now (she thought I was still in Scotland - especially when my bike moved) and that I needed a realistic offer for the house I bought, and stupidly put her name on the deeds! For the first time ever, I got a sane, non emotive email back. The money she is offering is still ridiculous....but it was better that what she was offering before. She also thought Id moved out because Id been seeing a string of women....hahaha....Shouldnt have denied that, felt a bit James Bondish when She said that...

Im going to start packing up my stuff tonight, not that I have much now. Im just hoping that something good comes up for me..... I can hear the words of Steven Patrick in my ears......'havent had a dream in a long time..........'

Laters!